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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28577544">station 16</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/clexaclub/pseuds/clexaclub'>clexaclub</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood, F/F, F/M, Happy Ending, Heavy Angst, M/M, Some violent scenes, and many other characters, finn is a bad cop</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:00:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>41,315</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28577544</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/clexaclub/pseuds/clexaclub</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa and Lincoln are firefighters. Clarke and Octavia are doctors. Everyone works together to save the people of their city while putting out fires in their own lives.</p><p>Based on Chicago Fire/PD/Med</p><p>DISCONTINUED</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Octavia Blake/Lincoln</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>115</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>385</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The alarms sounded and woke half the house from sleep. The other men awoke with a good shake. The older firefighters learned to sleep heavily when they got the chance. </p><p><em> “Engine 81 to Main Street. Paramedics on the way. Four cars involved. Paging one unit. On duty are reported on scene. Memorial Hospital reporting for triage.” </em> </p><p>Monty’s voice over the intercom signaled the severity of the emergency call. Car accidents were different at every scene. Many people died from car accidents.  </p><p>Lexa dressed quickly and without thought. The uniform was as familiar to her as breathing. The weight provided the comfort she needed when facing a potentially deadly scene. She pushed all other thoughts aside and focused on getting to the scene as soon as possible. </p><p>Lincoln ran toward the truck and Lexa followed. They sat in the back while the chief drove. </p><p>“Memorial’s on triage?” he asked over the truck’s siren. “At least it isn’t St. Mary’s this time. Maybe the victims will actually come out alive.” </p><p>“Is O on duty?” Lexa asked. </p><p>“Yeah. She went in at six. Her shift is supposed to end at eight but doubt that’ll happen now. We had dinner plans.” </p><p>Dinner would definitely be cancelled. If the accident was as bad as Lexa assumed, Lincoln would be eating dinner and sleeping alone tonight. Lincoln and Octavia moved in together a month ago. They rarely spent more than a few minutes together because of their intense work schedules. With Octavia being a doctor and Lincoln a firefighter, they could not predict their days. </p><p>Either could be called in at any time. </p><p>Memorial was their favorite hospital to work with. The doctors were the best in the city. Even the paramedics preferred Memorial over closer hospitals. Victims had a higher likelihood of surviving if Memorial was in charge. </p><p>The scene of the crash was worst that Lexa imagined. The four cars involved were barely recognizable as separate vehicles. Paramedics were on scene and ushering victims into ambulances. There was a line of them on the other side of the street. They stayed far enough away in case any of the cars caught fire. </p><p>One of them look suspiciously close to bursting into flames. The hose was dragged out of the truck and a rookie took care of things. The newbies were always aiming to prove themselves on the crew. This was the perfect opportunity to give him a confidence boost. The scene was dramatic and intense, but the car would not have exploded the way they did on TV. </p><p>Bystanders were shouting behind the tape closing off the scene. Cops surrounded the area to keep them out of the way while the crews worked. </p><p>Lexa watched Raven rush toward one of the cars.  </p><p>“Bring the jaws,” she shouted. </p><p>By the time Lexa arrived with the cutters, Raven was hanging into the car from the roof. She was working to unhook the little girl’s seatbelt. The car door had caved in from the impact of an SUV a few feet away. Lincoln appeared at her side to pulled at the door. Lexa began the cut.  </p><p>The sound was intimidating for victim's and this girl was no different. She began to cry. Raven tried soothing her but was focused on saving her life. There was blood covering the backseat. Lexa could not see where the blood was coming from. She wondered if Raven knew. </p><p>Once the door was removed, the other paramedic in Raven’s ambulance worked to remove the child from the car. She looked smaller once untangled from the debris from the crash. She was talking which was a good sign. The mother was screaming the name Sophie from another ambulance. </p><p>Lexa tossed her helmet in the truck since her job would mostly be situation monitoring from now on. She sat on the edge of the ambulance beside the little girl. </p><p>“Sophie?” she asked softly. “Is that your name?” </p><p>“Yes,” she replied softly and through tears. </p><p>“You know, Raven here is the best at fixing boo-boos.” </p><p>“Am I gonna have a cast?” </p><p>Lexa shrugged. “Maybe,” she said. “But how cool would that be? You could have all your friends sign it and get whatever color you want. What's your favorite color?” </p><p>“Blue.” </p><p>“That’s my favorite color, too.” </p><p>Raven finished wrapping the scratch on her arm and focused on the girl’s wrist that was probably broken. Her leg seemed oddly angled, too. She wondered why the little girl was not in more pain if multiple bones were broken. </p><p>“Shit,” Raven whispered under her breath. </p><p>Lexa raised an eyebrow and followed the paramedic’s gaze. There was gash in the girl’s back. It was a straight line across her spine. A piece of the trunk must have come forward during the impact. </p><p>“She needs to be taken to Memorial now!” Raven shouted.  </p><p>The situation had changed very quickly.  </p><p>“Damage to the spinal cord,” she said softly. “Find Wick. We’re leaving in two.” </p><p>Lexa nodded and jumped off the back of the truck. She weaved through the crowd until finding the other paramedic. He rushed off as soon as Lexa said the words ‘spinal cord.’ Those injuries rarely had good outcomes. Sophie looked to be around six or seven. Her mother climbed into the ambulance after Wick and they set off toward Memorial with sirens blaring. </p><hr/><p>The hospital was chaotic when Clarke arrived. She rushed to change into scrubs and help with triage. Octavia was pushing a stretcher into one of the ORs when she emerged. This was not a good sign. She had been asleep when the pager went off. But now she was wide awake. </p><p>“Griffin!”  </p><p>She turned to see Raven rushing through the doors with a little girl on a stretcher. </p><p>“What do you have?” Clarke asked. </p><p>“Damage to the spine. I didn’t notice until after I bandaged her arm but... something’s wrong with her leg and she... she can’t feel anything from the waist down,” Raven said. “I have to get back to the scene but...” </p><p>“I’ll take it from here, Rae,” she said. Clarke put her hand on Raven’s arm. She could tell this case had touched a nerve in her friend. “It’ll be okay.” </p><p>When Raven was gone, Clarke focused on the girl on the stretcher. The nurses were pushing her into an empty room. She was hooked to IV’s and strapped to the rails to prevent any movement that could make the damage worse. </p><p>“My name is Dr. Griffin,” Clarke said. “What’s your name, sweetheart?” </p><p>“S-Sophie,” she said. “Where’s the firefighter? The one from the crash. I talked to her about my cast. Where is she?” </p><p>Clarke smiled as she listened to the girl’s heart. The rhythm seemed a bit fast but that was to be expected. The chaos from the room alone would cause anyone’s heart to pound. She ran through a few more tests. It was not looking like an ideal situation, but she could not be sure until she saw an x-ray image. </p><p>“She told me her favorite color was blue,” Sophie said. “That’s my favorite, too.” </p><p>Clarke smiled at that. “I might be able to find her,” she said. “We need to do a few tests though, okay? It won’t hurt. Tell me something, Sophie. Can you feel this?” </p><p>She ran the tip of her pen along the bottom of Sophie’s foot. There was no movement or nerve reaction. Not a good sign. </p><p>“Feel what?” Sophie asked. </p><hr/><p>The firehouse was calm for the rest of the afternoon. Lincoln slammed his locker closed and grabbed his backpack from the bench. He tossed it over his shoulder. </p><p>“Well, want to have dinner with me since my girlfriend can’t make it?” he asked. </p><p>“I’m stopping by the hospital to check on that little girl,” she said. “Probably grab takeout on the way home.” </p><p>“Sure, Lex,” he said, rolling his eyes. “We all know why you’re stopping by the hospital.” </p><p>“Shut up, Linc. I'm going to make sure the poor girl didn’t die.” </p><p>He did not bother correcting her again. Sophie was the main reason for her visit, but it was a good excuse to see Clarke. They were friends but rarely had time to see each other outside of work. When they did have free time, they preferred spending time with family. At least, Clarke did. Lexa did not have a family in the traditional sense. </p><p>She kept in touch with an old friend, Anya, who grew up in the system, too. But Anya lived in another city. They texted and called often. It had been over a year since she saw her in person. She considered Anya a sister but not by blood. </p><p>The firehouse was only a few blocks from the hospital. She walked through the sliding doors and into the emergency room. A few nurses lingered by the charge station. They turned and smiled at her. </p><p>“Lieutenant Woods,” Wells said. “To what do we own this pleasure?” </p><p>She rolled her eyes. “Sophie,” Lexa said. “How is she?” </p><p>“Sophie.”  </p><p>Wells grabbed some charts from behind the desk and flipped through them. </p><p>“The spinal patient,” he said. “She’s in surgery right now.” </p><p>“Who’s performing the surgery?” </p><p>Harper smirked, knowingly, and rested her chin on her fist. She leaned against the charge station. “Dr. Griffin and Dr. Kane,” she said. “Why do you ask?” </p><p>“Because I want to make sure she’s in good hands,” Lexa said. “Sounds like she is with those two in charge.” </p><p>Wells chuckled which caused her cheeks to heat up suspiciously. She hoped the blush was not visible on her neck and face.  </p><p>Lexa had hoped she would get to chat with Clarke about the girl’s condition, but it appeared unlikely that it would happen tonight. Surgery would probably last into the night if the damage was as bad as Lexa predicted it was. She doubted the girl would walk again. </p><p>The mother was sitting in the waiting room. Lexa recognized her from the scene. She nodded toward the sleeping woman. </p><p>“How is she?” Lexa asked. </p><p>“Her injuries were minor,” Wells said. “She’s physically okay. She's scared shitless about her daughter though. We haven’t been given many updates, so we can’t make her feel any better.” </p><p>“Well, maybe you should do more than stand around all day,” she teased. </p><p>Wells and Harper gasped at the same time.  </p><p>“I’m pretty sure that you were playing cards the last time I stopped by the firehouse,” Harper said. </p><p>Lexa shrugged. “I won a ton of money that day, too,” she said. </p><p>“You’ve never played poker with me,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “We should sometime.” </p><p>She was about to respond when an officer stopped beside Lexa. It was her least favorite cop, Finn Collins. She had many reasons to hate the man. He interfered with incidents in hopes of impressing his bosses and a certain blonde doctor. He was a typical cop trying to climb the ladder into better, easier, departments. </p><p>“Lieutenant,” Finn said, nodding.  </p><p>“Officer Collins,” she said. “How's everything at the precinct?” </p><p>“Can’t complain. We got some new rookies.” </p><p><em> ‘Someone to do your job for you,’ </em> she thought. </p><p>Wells and Harper had managed to disappear. She could not blame them. Anyone in Finn’s presence wished to be anywhere else. She had a feeling that he would do well in the police ranks. The bosses probably loved him. The other officers did not trust him. The firefighters did not either. </p><p>She could not think of anyone who did trust Officer Collins. </p><p>“I should probably get home for the night,” Lexa said. “See you, Collins.” </p><p>She waved at the nurses who were watching the conversation from a few feet away. They smiled and waved back.  </p><p>Lexa was disappointed as she walked through the parking lot. She had hoped to, at least, find answers to Sophie’s injuries or speak with Clarke about the outcome. Clarke had a way of putting things into perspective. She could make the worst outcome sound like a victory. </p><p>The city was asleep as she drove home. Streetlights flashed over her dash until she parked outside her apartment. The place was cold and empty when she got inside. It seemed much too big for one person. She did not need much space. Lexa's childhood taught her that taking up less space meant being less noticeable.  </p><p>When she laid in bed that night, Lexa found sleep difficult. She took a pill from the bottle on the nightstand. A half an hour later, her phone vibrated. </p><p><em> Clarke: She’s stable. Not sure about anything else yet. Will update you in the morning. </em> </p><p>Lexa fell asleep with the phone in her hand. </p><hr/><p>“This definitely feels like overkill,” Clarke said as she took the box of donuts from Octavia’s hands. “I mean... this is weird.” </p><p>“Just do it,” she said. “Lincoln didn’t eat breakfast and they’ll appreciate it. I promise. When's the last time you stopped by the firehouse? They're a bunch of vultures.” </p><p>Clarke typed out a few texts to send to Lexa about the little girl but decided to stop by and give her the news in person. This meant going to the firehouse where she had not been in years. There was a good reason for that. </p><p>But the news was worth telling Lexa in person. </p><p>“Fine,” she said, sighing. “But this is only for Lincoln.” </p><p>“Make sure he actually gets one. Trust me, you’ll have to say something.” </p><p>Every truck was in the garage which meant a slow morning for the firefighters. After last night, they deserved a break. Them and everyone else who responded to the car accident. Clarke was supposed to be going home in preparation for her shift that night but was here instead. </p><p>The second she stepped into the garage, she was swarmed with men and women. </p><p>“Dr. Griffin,” Lincoln said. “What a surprise this is. Please tell me these are for us.” </p><p>“Yes, they are,” she replied.  </p><p>The words were barely out of her mouth before the box was taken from her hands and the donuts distributed. Octavia was right. They were vultures.  </p><p>“You were supposed to get one of those,” Clarke said, motioning toward the empty box. “Octavia asked me to make sure you ate.” </p><p>“Yeah, well... things don’t always work that way around here.” Lincoln chuckled. “Is that why you stopped by?” </p><p>“I need to talk to Lexa actually. Is she around?” </p><p>“In the back.” </p><p>Lincoln motioned toward the back of the garage where they worked on the trucks. She saw the woman sitting on a stool and leaned over a toolbox. She knew next to nothing about anything mechanical. Even if her life depended on it, Clarke would be unable to explain what Lexa was doing.  </p><p>“I brought donuts, but... well, Octavia bought them technically,” Clarke said. </p><p>Lexa’s long brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail to keep it out of the way. When she looked up, the hair moved off her back and on her shoulder. She stood when she saw who was standing in front of her now. </p><p>“Hey, doc,” Lexa said, smiling.  </p><p>“Lieutenant,” she teased.  </p><p>She was sure that there was a pink tint to Lexa’s cheeks.  </p><p>“I came by to give you that update on Sophie,” Clarke said. </p><p>“Wait. You came here to tell me? That's can’t be good. Just... just tell me.” </p><p>Lexa was nervous now. Her previous good mood had completely vanished.  </p><p>“She’s fine, Lex,” Clarke said. “We repaired the damage and recovery will only be a few weeks. She's a tough as hell little girl. She kept asking about you. As soon as she woke up, she asked where her favorite firefighter was. The one who liked blue.” </p><p>Lexa chuckled. There was relief in her expression.  </p><p>“I’ll stop by after my shift today,” she said. “She is a tough little thing, isn’t she?” </p><p>“She is. Her mom was a mess. Octavia gave her the good news, so I figured I could tell you.” </p><p>Her eyes moved over to the far wall of the garage was a plaque was hung. On it were the names of every fallen firefighter in the district. Somewhere on the plaque was her father’s name. She could not handle seeing it after the long shift.  </p><p>Lexa did not have to follow her gaze to know what she was looking at.  </p><p>“I should go,” Clarke said.  </p><p>“Yeah, uh...” she said. “Let me walk you out, at least. You did go completely out of your way for this.” </p><p>She wiped her greasy hands on a rag as they walked through the garage and into the parking lot. Clarke’s sedan was parked in one of the staff spaces.  </p><p>Someone shouted from one of the windows of the firehouse. When they looked up, Chief Jaha was practically hanging out of the window of his office. </p><p>“Griffin!” Jaha said. “You’re not leaving without saying hi, are you?” </p><p>“Sorry!” she shouted back. Her smile was genuine. “Long shift. It slipped my mind! I’ll stop by soon. You should come for dinner soon. Mom's been asking how you are.” </p><p>“Tell Abby I said hi. Have a good one, Clarke.” </p><p>She nodded as the man disappeared into the window again. They stopped at her car and Clarke riffled her scrub pockets for the keys.  </p><p>“I guess I'll see you around the hospital,” Lexa said. “I’m sure I’ll be around at some point.” </p><p>Clarke nodded and climbed into the driver’s seat. She was about to close the door when Lexa grabbed it to stop her from doing so. </p><p>“Thank you, Clarke,” Lexa said. “Really. Thank you.” </p><p>The blonde smiled. “Of course, Lexa,” she said. “She’ll be happy to see her favorite firefighter.” </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Yo,” Raven said. “You losers gambling again?” </p>
<p>Her mouth was full of the sandwich in her hand as she walked into the firehouse. She put her elbow on Lincoln’s shoulder and leaned against him. He gave her a dirty look from the chair he was sitting in. </p>
<p>“You’re really coming in here with food when we haven’t eaten in hours?” Lincoln asked. </p>
<p>“Sorry, Greene,” she said. “But a girl’s gotta eat when a man is buying her food.” </p>
<p>“The man from the deli again?” Lexa asked. She looked up from the cards in her hand. “Don’t tell me you stopped there to flirt with him for food.” </p>
<p>“I had a call close by,” Raven said, shrugging. “He came out to see what was going on and offered.” </p>
<p>“Poor Eric,” Lincoln said.  </p>
<p>He tossed his cards on the table and stood. The game ended a few minutes later with Monty winning. He seemed to always win when he came down from the command room. That was rare which was good for their wallets. </p>
<p>Lincoln shoved Monty’s shoulder as he made his way through the garage. Lexa watched the two from her spot on the back of the truck. She smiled. </p>
<p>“See you at dinner tonight,” Monty said. “Don’t be late or Mom’ll flip out.” </p>
<p>“You’re one to talk,” he replied. “You send me out on calls, remember?” </p>
<p>They rarely interacted like brothers while on duty. Most of the firefighters did not know they were. Lincoln was adopted by Monty’s parents before he was even born. Their mother found herself pregnant when Lincoln was five.  </p>
<p>Lincoln was the reason his brother had this job. Their mom did not want her son to be a firefighter but having Monty at the station to monitor seemed to put her more at ease. When Lincoln applied, she did not speak to him for a week. Lincoln claims that he enjoyed the time off, but Lexa knew he loved his mother more than anything. They were very close. </p>
<p>“We better go ahead and get dressed for that school thing,” Lexa said. “Monty, make the announcement. We ride in ten.” </p>
<p>He started up the stairs. She could see him taking a seat behind the glass and unlock his computer. She doubted that there was anything Monty could not do or learn to do. </p>
<p><em> “Non-emergency ride out in ten. Full uniform. Paramedics not required.” </em> </p>
<p>Raven shouted happily from the other side of the garage. </p>
<p>“I was hoping to catch up on some sleep this morning,” Lincoln said. “I guess this is important, too. Shaping young minds or whatever.” </p>
<p>“Hannah cooking tonight?” Lexa asked as they got dressed.  </p>
<p>“Yep. She wants me to bring Octavia, but I think she’s on duty. I don’t know. We can’t ever plan anything, you know. A little word of advice. Find an accountant or something else boring like that.” </p>
<p> She chuckled. </p>
<p>“I’ll try to remember that.” </p>
<p>Lincoln gave her a knowing look that she ignored.  </p>
<p>The kids were excited to see the firefighters in uniform. They talked about some shows they watched or movies where firefighters made an appearance. Meeting kids was always the same. They asked random, irrelevant questions for the most part. Some profound kids asked hard questions no one knew the answer to.  </p>
<p>They were set to leave when Monty’s voice came over the walkies.  </p>
<p><em> “Abandoned warehouse fire on Southside and Fifth. Paramedics in route. Memorial on triage. Unknown victims.” </em> </p>
<p>The men closest to the door left the room in a hurry to start the engine outside. Lexa made the announcement that they had to leave early but they enjoyed the visit. Some of the kids clung to their pants when they tried to leave. </p>
<p>“Homeless people use that warehouse to sleep,” Lexa said as they walked out of the school. “Who knows how many we’ll find. Better give O a heads up before they get swarmed.” </p>
<p>He nodded and sent his girlfriend a text message. Chief Jaha parked the truck outside the building. She was unable to see the fire from this side of the building. As soon as they rounded the corner, Lexa gasped. </p>
<p>This was going to be very bad. </p>
<p>They unrolled the hoses and put on their masks. Lexa and Lincoln were the first inside the building. Sweat rolled down her forehead immediately. The scene was worse inside. Someone was screaming. Men and women were running around the warehouse, unsure of what to do. A few bodies were lying nearby where the ceiling fell. Flames were coming through all openings and more beams above looked ready to fall. </p>
<p>“We’re going to need more medics,” she said into the walkie. </p>
<hr/>
<p>The first warehouse victim came in twenty minutes after Lincoln’s text. A beam had fallen from the city and crushed his leg. An artery had been severed. Octavia was the one to direct him into a room. Before the paramedics arrived, the nurses took care of emptying them of nonlife-threatening injuries.  </p>
<p>“Page Griffin,” she said while rushing past the charge station where Harper was fielding calls.  </p>
<p>“Okay,” she said. Harper picked up the phone and her voice was soon heard over the intercom. “Dr. Griffin to emergency. Dr. Griffin to emergency.” </p>
<p>The blonde appeared a few seconds later. She ran through the sliding doors when an ambulance arrived outside. Raven was straddling a victim on the stretcher while Wick pushed it inside.  </p>
<p>“Tourniquet on the leg,” Raven said. “Heart rate dropping. He was unconscious when they dragged him out. Give oxygen during the ride. Hasn’t responded yet but eyes are moving.” </p>
<p>“Room four, Wick,” Clarke said. “Wells, Jasper. Set up an IV and check vitals. Call the bank and get me enough O for, at least, ten vics.” </p>
<p>They rushed off without responding to complete their tasks. </p>
<p>Raven grabbed a chart from the station and began filling it out on the patient they brought in. A name would be next to impossible to find, so it was signed John Doe. </p>
<p>“Clarke,” Raven said, grabbing her arm. “Just so you know... something happened. To Lexa. Another ambulance is bringing her in.” </p>
<p>“What? What happened?” </p>
<p>“I don’t know. I couldn’t see her from the back of the ambo. I was trying to stop him from bleeding out but... I think there was blood on her neck. The warehouse ceiling was falling when they went in. I thought I should tell you.” </p>
<p>“Yeah... yeah, thanks. I should go check on your vic.” </p>
<p>Clarke could not think about Lexa’s injury while the emergency room was filled with victims who needed her undivided attention. Neck injuries could be potentially fatal. Everything could be. She suddenly felt very restricted and enclosed in this hospital. She wanted to ride back out to the scene with Raven and find out what was going on. </p>
<p>Surely an ambulance would arrive soon, and Lexa would complain about being treated like a victim. Or things were worst. Clarke could not even imagine that situation.  </p>
<p>“Griffin!” Wells said, shaking her arm. “They need you in surgery.” </p>
<p>Clarke managed to repair the artery. The bleeding stopped and eventually his vitals stabilized. They moved the patient to ICU for monitoring. As soon as she was free for a moment, Clarke checked the charts. Lexa’s name was not on any of the paperwork. </p>
<p>She took her phone from her pocket and called Lexa’s phone. There was no answer. </p>
<hr/>
<p>“Would you stop?” Lexa asked. “You're really starting to piss me off, Raven.” </p>
<p>“Lexa, you need stitches,” she said, motioning toward the flesh wound. “You pulled a fucking pipe out of your leg. That’s a serious injury.” </p>
<p>“I’m not saying it isn’t serious. I'm just saying that you’re acting irrational. It doesn’t even hurt anymore. Just wrap me up. I'll swing by the hospital on the way home.” </p>
<p>“This is not a ‘swing by’ injury. Listen to me just this once. <em> Please </em>, Lexa.” </p>
<p>She had to admit that her leg did hurt. The warehouse scene was finally calm. They managed to save most of the people inside, but the mood was somber. The cops were still clearing the scene. There was an ambulance nearby with a body bag on the stretcher. </p>
<p>Raven wiped the dried blood from her neck. One of the men she carried out touched her skin while bleeding from the hand. She had removed her mask so he could wear it since smoke was filling the room.  </p>
<p>“Fine,” she said. “I’ll drive myself there right now. Will that make you feel better?” </p>
<p>“Yes,” she said. “And I’m sure it’ll make Clarke feel better since I kind of told her you got hurt like three hours ago.” </p>
<p>“You did what? Why would you tell her that?” </p>
<p>Raven grabbed her bag from the ground and tossed it into the truck. Wick started the engine.  </p>
<p>“Because I thought the fucking roof crashed down on you,” she said. “Which it did.” </p>
<p>Lexa hopped into the last firetruck on the scene. They had been waiting for her to be cleared with the medics before heading back to the station. She grunted internally as she sat across from Murphy and Lincoln. </p>
<p>“You’re such an idiot,” Lincoln said. “I told you that I could carry that last one out.” </p>
<p>“There was nothing wrong with me,” Lexa said. She took a long breath. “Once the rod was out.” </p>
<p>The ride back was quiet. She wondered how Clarke took the news of her injury. She wanted to ask Raven but did not want to risk her thinking it meant more than it did. She was only curious because she would hate to think of Clarke waiting for her to arrive at the hospital when there were other patients to care for. </p>
<p>“You are off duty, Lieutenant, on the condition that you go get that leg stitched up,” Chief Jaha said. She had barely made it out of the truck when he appeared in front of her. “And whatever the doc recommends, you’re going to do.” </p>
<p>“Yes, sir,” she said, nodding. “I’m headed that way now.” </p>
<p>“Take a few days off. See you on Tuesday.” </p>
<p>Lexa’s chest constricted but she did not argue. The chief was not someone she wanted to cross. No one disrespected Jaha. He was strict but fair in all aspects. She had a responsibility as the lieutenant to set a good example.  </p>
<p>But she did not know what she was going to do for four days without work. </p>
<p>“See you later, Linc,” she said as she walked out of the locker room.  </p>
<p>She was dressed in jeans and a station 16 tee. She tossed her backpack over her shoulder as she left the firehouse. The car was parked in the farthest spot from the door. She arrived later than most that morning.  </p>
<p>Pain coursed through her entire body as she sat behind the wheel. When she looked down, there was a red spot on her jeans where the blood had come through the bandage. Raven did a good job patching her up, but the wound would require more than gauze to heal properly. </p>
<p>There was one man in the emergency room waiting room when she arrived. He was reading a book, so she doubted he had anything serious going on. </p>
<p>“Two times in three days?” Harper asked. “If you weren’t such a grump, I’d say you missed us around here.” </p>
<p>Her eyes traveled down to the blood on her jeans. They widened at the sight. </p>
<p>“It’s not bad,” Lexa said. “I just need a few stitches.” </p>
<p>“Sure,” she said. “I’ll page one of the docs. Give me a sec.” </p>
<p>Octavia came down the hall with a few charts in her hands. She laid them behind the desk and wrote something on the top page. Hospital paperwork meant nothing to Lexa. Even if she wanted to find anything out from the pages of meaningless acronyms, Lexa would be unable to. </p>
<p>“Let’s get you back to a room,” Octavia said. “What did you do?” </p>
<p>She grunted in pain as she pushed herself back on an exam table. “A rod fell through my leg,” Lexa said. </p>
<p>“Who took it out?” she asked. Octavia motioned for Lexa to remove her jeans. “Raven?” </p>
<p>Lexa shook her head. “I did,” she said. </p>
<p>The bandaged was completely red now. The doctor tossed the bloody rag into the trash. She examined the wound and prepped the cleaning materials. She made sure the skin was clean of the blood. With any pressure, more appeared. </p>
<p>The door burst open and Clarke was standing in front of her. The woman looked frazzled. Her eyes were wide as they stared each other down.  </p>
<p>“What the hell happened today?” Clarke asked. Her voice was louder than normal. </p>
<p>“Raven told me what she-” </p>
<p>“Yeah, she came in here saying that you were hurt and were on your way in an ambulance!” </p>
<p>Lexa raised an eyebrow at the blonde woman. She looked intimidating right now. Clarke was short but she looked twelve feet tall right now. Especially while Lexa was sitting in front of her without pants on. </p>
<p>“I’m fine,” Lexa said softly. “I promise.” </p>
<p>Clarke nodded once. “Good,” she said.  </p>
<p>They stared at each other for a few more seconds before Clarke left the examination room. Lexa sighed and rubbed her eyes. She was exhausted from the day. She felt bad for scaring Clarke. The thought of Clarke being worried about her was nice though. </p>
<p>“She’ll get over it,” Octavia said. “I’m about to numb you, okay? You'll feel a little pinch. Not that it matters much since you pulled a steel rod from your skin earlier.” </p>
<p>The numbing medicine was already taking effect by the time Octavia finished her sentence. </p>
<hr/>
<p>Clarke tapped the pencil against the stack of paperwork she was supposed to be working through. Knowing that Lexa was somewhere in the hospital with a wound was distracting. She tried to focus on the patient files, to get caught up from the long day, but found the task impossible. </p>
<p>She should not have reacted the way she did. It was irrational and she knew it then but everything Lexa did was dangerous. Even a minor call could be deadly. They could be standing on the side of the room and get run over by a semi. </p>
<p>She sighed and rubbed her hand over her face. She had been on duty for too long. </p>
<p>When she left her office and clocked out, she went to find Octavia. She was in the locker rooms, changing out of her scrubs, when Clarke found her. </p>
<p>“Are you leaving?” Octavia asked. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” she said. “I’ve been here for too long. Umm... Lexa’s okay, right?” </p>
<p>“She’s fine. Jaha gave her four days off. She wasn’t mad at you, if you were wondering. She was scared that you were mad at her. And she said that she was going to kill Raven if that makes you feel any better.” </p>
<p>Clarke chuckled. “A bit,” she said. </p>
<p>They walked out of the hospital together. Octavia cleared her throat when they approached her car and looked toward a space across the way. Lexa was leaning against the hood of her SUV, arms crossed. Her hair was down and hanging in her face when she met Clarke’s eyes. </p>
<p>She grinned. </p>
<p>Clarke cleared her throat and pulled her gaze from the firefighter. “See you tomorrow, O,” she said.  </p>
<p>“See you, Clarkey.” </p>
<p>She crossed the space between them until she stopped in front of Lexa. She shoved her hands in her scrub pockets. She always left her white coat at the hospital but suddenly felt exposed without it. </p>
<p>“About earlier...” Lexa said. </p>
<p>“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I was out of line. I shouldn’t have...” </p>
<p>“Forget it. I already have.” </p>
<p>Clarke was grateful for that. She nodded. The tension between them eased. </p>
<p>“This might be bad timing, but... I was thinking about going to the beach on Saturday,” Lexa said. “I don’t know if you’re off work or...” </p>
<p>Clarke smiled. The thought of going to the beach with Lexa made her chest warm. Her hands began to sweat. </p>
<p>Then she remembered how she felt that day while thinking Lexa was hurt. She remembered the pain of waiting for Lexa to arrive to assess her injury. There was no way that Clarke could live with that fear every day if she allowed herself to feel anything for the woman.  </p>
<p>“I... uh...” Clarke started. She cleared her throat. </p>
<p>“I got it,” Lexa said. “You don’t have to finish. Just thought I would ask. No big deal.” </p>
<p>She shrugged casually but Clarke could tell it was forced. It made her feel guilty. Her jaw still hurt from clenching for three hours straight. It would take a lot of meditation to fall asleep tonight with her anxiety so high. </p>
<p>“I should get home,” Lexa said. “I’ll... well, I guess it won’t be around for a few days, but...” </p>
<p>“Yeah,” she said awkwardly. “Enjoy your time off. Rest your leg.” </p>
<p>“Sure thing, doc.” </p>
<p>Lexa grinned at her once more before climbing into her car. Clarke watched the car until it was completely out of sight. Her head fell back with a soft groan. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lexa did not go to the beach. In fact, she did not like the beach. She only asked Clarke because she thought it would be a fun and casual thing for the two of them to do together. She had been wanting to ask Clarke out for a long time. </p><p>And she regretted it. Things would now be awkward between the two of them. That is not what she wanted. She considered Clarke a friend and they worked so closely together that their personal friendship could not interfere with duty. </p><p>Lexa should have known that the blonde would not agree to the outing. She temporarily believed that Clarke cared about her from the reaction of her injury. But Clarke was a doctor through and through. She cared for all patients. </p><p>At noon, she finally climbed out of bed. There was still three days until Tuesday when she could return to work. Lexa had no plans. She lounged around the house for a few hours before going out to grab food. She ate on the patio of the local café and tried not to think about the night in the hospital parking lot. Every time she did, her cheeks grew hot and chest constricted. </p><p>Her phone rang at five pm. An unknown number popped up on the screen. </p><p><em> “This is Wayne County  </em> <em> Penitentiary </em> <em> . Do you accept the charges?” </em> </p><p>Lexa rubbed her eyes and sighed. “Yes,” she replied. </p><p>“Lexa?” Anya asked. “Listen. I fucked up bad. Can you... can you come get me? I’ll... I’ll pay you back, but I have to get out of here by tonight. Can I stay with you for a little while?” </p><p>“Where is Wayne County?” she asked. </p><p>Anya sucked in a breath. “Please, Lex,” she said. </p><p>“Fine. I have some days off. I'll get there as soon as I can, okay? Just... avoid everyone until I get there.” </p><p>Anya tended to get into trouble. She was in a gang during her teen years while running from every foster home she landed in. They stayed in a group home together for a few months until she was arrested for robbery. Lexa had been bailing her out of trouble since they met. She used to take the blame for Anya’s mistakes when they threatened to kick her out on the streets.  </p><p>While driving to Wayne County, she thought about the trouble they used to get into as kids. Lexa grew out of the phase while Anya did not. Even as a thirty-year-old woman, Anya was immature. Her parents died when she was three years old in a car crash. There was no one to take her in, so she landed in an orphanage. Lexa showed her how to sneak extra food and how to make the hot water work in the showers. Lexa was three years older and had been there since birth. </p><p>Her mother was apparently a teenager who dropped Lexa off on the steps of the orphanage. She was barely a few days old when surrendered.  </p><p>Lexa did not blame her mother for leaving her on those steps. Her life turned out okay considering everything that had happened in the past. The nuns had not been forgiving especially when they caught her kissing another girl on the playground when she was nine years old. The other girl was moved placements the following day.  </p><p>She arrived at the jailhouse just before it was set to close for the day. She flashed her badge to, hopefully, get on the officers’ good side. It seemed to work well enough. Cops and firefighters tended to work close together. </p><p>“Anya Grove,” she said to the woman behind the desk. “I have cash for the bail.” </p><p>“Right,” she said in a bored tone. “It’s set at eight hundred. No court required. She's required to stay in the state for the next ninety days.” </p><p>“Okay. She'll be living with me.” </p><p>The buzzer sounded and the metal door slid into the wall. She could hear Anya complaining about the tight cuffs from down the hall. She turned the corner and smiled in relief when she saw her sister. </p><p>That’s when Lexa noticed her bulging stomach.  </p><p>They walked out of the jail without a word to each other. Lexa shoved her hands in her pockets as they walked across the parking lot and climbed into her SUV. She turned the keys but did not back out of the parking space. </p><p>“Look... I... I'm sorry for making you come all the way here,” Anya said. </p><p>“What did you do?” she asked. </p><p>“I... I got arrested for possession. But... I have an explanation.” </p><p>“You always do. And... that. How...? Who...?” </p><p>Lexa motioned toward her stomach.  </p><p>“Some guy,” Anya said. “He’s a dealer. I needed some money and a place to stay. He took me in and...” </p><p>“Why didn’t you call me before all this shit began, Anya?” she asked.  </p><p>Lexa was angry. She was angry that Anya could let things get so out of control and still not be worried about her future. She worried more about Anya than she did about herself. It seemed very unfair. </p><p>“I don’t know,” she said. “I thought you’d get mad.” </p><p>“Mad? This isn’t mad? I drove four hours to bail you out of jail and I find out you’re pregnant, Anya. You could have told me on the phone. But you wanted this reaction, didn’t you? How are you going to raise a kid? You can’t even take care of yourself.” </p><p>“Why did you even come get me if you just wanted to lecture me? You treat me like a fucking kid. You're only three years older than me. And you think I haven’t already thought about the fucking thing? I'm giving it up, okay? Babies are like hotcakes in the system. Some rich family will adopt it and it’ll have a better fucking life than we ever did. Or what I could give it.” </p><p>Lexa chuckled humorlessly. “I cannot fucking believe you,” she said. “It’s a child not a goddamn puppy. Let’s just get home. Do me a favor and don’t talk for a while, okay? Put whatever the fuck you want on the radio.” </p><p>They grew up in the system, so they knew firsthand how terrible things were. She could not believe that Anya was going to put her child through the same things they went through. Even if Anya was right and the baby was adopted right away, there was no guarantee that the family would be a good one.  </p><p>She could not look over at Anya during the drive. They did not speak for two hours as Lexa wished. The pain in her leg was the last thing on her mind. </p><hr/><p>Clarke carried the bowl of mashed potatoes to the table and sat across from Marcus. He spooned some food onto his plate as Abby took her seat at the dining room table. They were silent as they filled their plates. </p><p>She missed most Sunday dinners with her mom and stepdad. Kane worked at the hospital part time as a spine surgeon and made sure to take Sundays off. Abby preferred to have them both at the house for dinner but understood Clarke’s schedule. She was not upset if her daughter cancelled and always happy when she showed up on the doorstep. Tonight, they were sipping wine from the bottle she brought along. </p><p>“How’s work going, sweetheart?” Abby asked. “Marcus told me a bit about the surgery on the little girl. He said you did excellent.” </p><p>“Thanks,” she said. “Her name is Sophie. The firefighters rescued her from a car. She, uh... someone was drunk driving and caused a pretty bad crash.” </p><p>“I cannot believe people can be so selfish,” her mother said. “It’s really sad. That little girl will probably have trauma for years because of the crash. What happened to the driver?” </p><p>“He was DOA.” </p><p>Abby had been a clinical therapist before retiring two years ago. She had hoped to spend her golden years taking care of grandchildren, but Clarke was in no position to start a family. She had the money but not the time. She was not dating anyone and had no plans to be in a serious relationship anytime soon. Her career was very important to her.  </p><p>At thirty-four, Clarke knew her biological clock was ticking but was in no rush. She would be fine with not having a child at all. </p><p>“Wasn’t there a cop who asked you out not too long ago?” Abby asked. “I thought you liked him.” </p><p>“Finn?” she asked. Clarke almost choked on her food. “I never said I liked him. I don’t. Not at all.” </p><p>“Oh.” </p><p>She desperately wanted to change the subject. Talking about her love life over the dinner table was not something she enjoyed. Her mother was hellbent on Clarke finding someone to spend her life with. She did not blame her mother for wanting that for her child. Clarke would want the same thing if the roles were reversed. </p><p>“What about Woods?” Marcus asked. </p><p>Clarke did choke this time. “What?” she asked. “What about Woods?” </p><p>“I heard that she asked you out on a date and you said no,” he said. </p><p>Clarke's cheeks flushed. She took a large bite of food and thought about that as she chewed. How would Marcus find out about that? He must have spoken to someone from the hospital, but who? Who would tell him about that? </p><p>“Octavia,” she mumbled under her breath. </p><p>Abby straightened in her chair and leaned forward a bit. “Who is this Woods person?” she asked. </p><p>“She’s no one, mom,” she said. “I said no. We aren’t... it’s nothing. She's no one.” </p><p>Marcus seemed to realize his mistake when she refused to speak of Lexa Woods. He cleared his throat and wiped his mouth with the napkin from his lap.  </p><p>“Honey,” he said. “Let me get the pie out of the oven. It'll have to cool for a bit before we can serve it.” </p><p>She nodded and waved him off without much thought. “Clarke,” she said.  </p><p>Clarke looked down at her plate and sighed. When she looked back up at her mother, the woman looked genuinely worried.  </p><p>“She’s the lieutenant at station 16,” she said. </p><p>Abby’s expression changed from worried to sad. She frowned slightly. “Oh,” she said. “Right. Umm... I should go help Marcus with the dessert.” </p><p>She tossed her napkin on the table and stood. Clarke felt guilty for reminding her mother of the station but could not lie. She never lied to her mother anymore.  </p><p>Jake died when Clarke was twelve. She came home from school one day and found out he had died in a fire downtown. They were unable to recover much of his body since the building collapsed. Her mother was able to cremate what they could. His ashes were in an urn in the living room.  </p><p>Abby, understandably, had a hard time discussing firefighters. She respected their job and believed they were essential but could not visit the station. She avoided the road it was on when driving anywhere. </p><p>Clarke pushed away from the table and joined her mother in the kitchen. “Mom,” she said softly. “Are you okay?” </p><p>“I’m fine, sweetheart,” she said.  </p><p>Marcus had mysteriously disappeared. He was always respectful of their private conversations. She loved that about her stepfather. She truly did love Marcus, but he was not her biological father. Clarke wished every day for just five minutes with Jake. She wished he was here to give her advice. He would absolutely adore Lieutenant Woods. </p><p>“Firefighters.... they have a way of... being charming,” Abby said. “I would never tell you not to follow your heart, honey, but...” </p><p>“Mom,” she said. “I don’t... I said no. I don’t want to date her, okay? I don’t want to date anyone. It isn’t... it’s not because of dad.” </p><p>“Okay, Clarke. Let's have pie.” </p><hr/><p>Lexa drank a beer on the couch while Anya took a shower in the guest room. The TV was playing quietly. She was watching a sitcom rerun. She had no idea who the characters were or the backstory of the show, but it was nice filler for the million thoughts running through her brain. She hoped the beers would help with that. </p><p>Anya was incapable of raising a child. Lexa knew that. The thought crossed her mind of adopting the baby herself, but what would she do with an infant? She had no idea how to take care of a baby. She worked more hours than not and did not have the savings to afford ten hours of daycare a day. She had no one to help her raise the kid either. </p><p>But the baby ending up in an orphanage was a worse thought. There was no way that she would allow that to happen. There had to be another option. She just needed to find one. </p><p>“I meant to ask about that,” Anya said from the doorway.  </p><p>She pointed at Lexa’s wrapped leg. When they got to the apartment, she had changed into boxers and a tank top. She glanced down at the wrapped wound. </p><p>“Accident on the job the other day,” Lexa said. “Rod fell and punctured my leg. Had to get a few stitches.” </p><p>“Fighting fires, right,” she said. “Dangerous stuff.” </p><p>“Not half as dangerous as being a drug dealer.” </p><p>Anya scoffed. She folded her arms tight across her chest. </p><p>“I’m not a drug dealer Lex,” she said. </p><p>“Yeah?” she asked. “Why did you have the shit on you then? Are you using again? With a fucking kid in there?” </p><p>“I’m not using the shit! Dammit, Lexa. I was doing a drop for some cash, okay? I needed a place to stay and I didn’t want to... get it another way.” </p><p>Lexa knew what that meant. She had been known to use her body for money before. She disapproved of it but never tried to stop her sister from working. There was no point. </p><p>“Let’s make a deal right now, okay?” Lexa asked. “You can stay here until the kid is born as long as you stay away from <em> all  </em> drugs and don’t do  <em> anything  </em>illegal. Can you promise me that?” </p><p>“I promise. I won’t put your job in danger. Plus, they have no idea I'm here. I don’t know how long I'll be staying though.” </p><p>“Fine. But nothing comes into this apartment and nothing bad goes into your body until you have that kid.” </p><p>“Goodnight, Lexa. And... thanks for picking me up tonight.” </p><hr/><p>Lexa had never been happier to arrive at the station. The firehouse was quiet which was typically a good sign. When she walked through the doors and into the kitchen, everyone clapped. She rolled her eyes. </p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” she said, waving them off. “Not like I cured cancer or something.” </p><p>“No, you just pulled a one-inch pipe from your own leg and carried out someone who weighed more than yourself,” Chief Jaha said. “That’s pretty damn close in my book.” </p><p>She smiled. “Thanks,” Lexa said. </p><p>She opened her mouth to speak but the alarm went off signaling an emergency call. Monty’s voice was relief in her ears. She happy to be back. </p><p><em> “Two home fire on Spencer. Paramedics respond. St. Mary’s on triage. Police in route and all available units responding. Weapons discharged at the scene. Arrive with caution.” </em> </p><p>“Not a good sign,” Murphy said. “Weapons don’t mix well. Hopefully the cops shut them down before we arrive, or we’ll be in a shitload of trouble.” </p><p>Lexa nodded in agreement.  </p><hr/><p>A gunshot hit the side of their truck as soon as they arrived. Everyone jumped at the sound and ducked to avoid the glass from the shattered window. The chief climbed out of the front seat and into the back with the rest of them. </p><p>“We’re fucked,” he said. </p><p>The cops shouted something from behind the door. Lincoln pushed open the back door of the truck and Finn climbed in.  </p><p>“We need to use the truck as a barrier,” Finn said. “Someone needs to back to truck up about ten feet so the medics can get to a gunshot vic.” </p><p>Lexa climbed into the front seat without thought. She was the only man on board without a child, spouse, or partner. She did not take the role thinking she would die but even an injury could screw up household funds. All Lexa had to worry about was being evicted and finding a new apartment if something happened. </p><p>Not that she hoped anything would happen. She briefly thought about Anya’s baby as she put the truck in reverse. The kid had been on her mind for days. </p><p>“A few more feet, Woods,” Finn shouted from the back.  </p><p>He had the door open and was watching the street below. The paramedics ran to the victim as soon as they had a barrier from the bullets being shot. Another two rounds hit the truck. </p><p>Finn leapt out of the truck and toward the building. The shooters took off down an alley which gave the firefighters a chance to put out the fire in the house. Unsurprisingly, they found a meth lab inside. The drugs had exploded and caused the fire which burned half of the neighbor’s house as well. They put out the flames easily once they found the lab in the basement. The shooters must have been trying to shoot their way out of being arrested for cooking the drugs. She doubted the two shooters would get very far with ten cops on their tails. </p><p>“Bring the chief in here,” Lincoln said. “He’ll have to fill out the report when we get back.” </p><p>Murphy nodded and left the room. Everyone else stayed behind the open the windows. The smoke billowed out of them immediately. They opened every available window in hopes of salvaging the home. </p><p>The trucks made it back to the station and a report was filed to have them repaired. Lexa checked the damage. There was nothing she could do without a professional fixing the frame. There did not seem to be anything detrimental. The trucks were still useable. </p><p>“Good work today,” Lincoln said, patting her on the shoulder. “You didn’t have to take lead just because Finn said so.” </p><p>“I’m the lieutenant, right?” she asked. “I did. Octavia would kill me if anything bad happened to you anyway. It was mostly out of fear.” </p><p>He chuckled at her joke. “Yeah, she’s pretty intimidating,” he said. “I don’t know how someone her height could ever intimidate me.” </p><p>“Well, she threatens to withhold sex pretty often. That I can understand being afraid of.” </p><p>They laughed on their way upstairs. Lexa hoped to catch a few hours of sleep before another call came in. She laid down on an empty bed and folded her hands behind her head. She checked her phone but there were no new messages.  </p><p>Sleep was impossible. She was too worried about her sister to fall asleep. She tried calling but there was no answer. She figured Anya was asleep. </p><p>But she had to go home and check. </p><p>Jaha granted her the rest of the night off. She rushed home and went straight to the guest room. Anya was asleep as she predicted. Lexa changed into pajamas and grabbed a beer from the fridge. She planned on watching one show before going to bed. She needed a TV for her bedroom. </p><p>There was a soft knock on her door. She pulled it open and was shocked to find Clarke standing in her doorway. Lexa looked up and down the hall as if someone else was going to pop up. </p><p>“What are you...?” Lexa asked. </p><p>Clarke’s shoulders fell as she released a deep breath. “I heard about the gunshots and I had to make sure you...” she said. “I tried calling but you didn’t answer or respond to my texts and I... I don’t know. I had to come here.” </p><p>“How did you even find my address?” she asked, leaning against the doorframe.  </p><p>“I... I called Lincoln.” </p><p>“Right. Lincoln. But that doesn’t really explain why you’re here. I mean, you could have come to the station tomorrow if you missed me that badly.” </p><p>Lexa thought the blonde would laugh at her joke, but she did not. She continued to stare at her very intensely. </p><p>There was a moment when time seemed to stop. The blonde leaned forward, reached out and took Lexa’s face in her hands. Lexa sucked in a breath as she stared into her blue eyes. This was the moment she never thought would happen. Clarke was going to kiss her. Beautiful, perfect Clarke who Lexa would fight a million fires for. She would do anything for her. She had dreamed of this moment for years. </p><p>“Lexa?” </p><p>They broke apart when Anya’s voice scared them. Lexa turned back to see Anya in a big tee, belly visible, and yawning. She raised an eyebrow when she saw how close they were standing. </p><p>“Sorry... I'll leave you two alone,” Anya said. </p><p>But the moment was ruined. </p><p>When she looked back at Clarke, the blonde was staring at her with a strange expression. There was none of the previous admiration in her eyes. The blue was no longer the color of a calm ocean. They now resembled a tsunami. </p><p>She opened her mouth to speak but turned away instead. Clarke rushed down the hall.  </p><p>“Clarke!” Lexa called.  </p><p>She was only in boxers and could not follow the blonde down the hall. She groaned. Her head fell back and hit the door with a soft thump. </p><p>“Good timing, An,” Lexa said as she searched the couch for her phone. </p><p>Sure enough, there were messages and calls from Clarke. Her phone was still on silent from work. She fell back on the cushion and sent Clarke a new message. After hitting send, Lexa threw an arm over her eyes and sighed loudly. </p><p>She doubted the opportunity to kiss Clarke again would come around any time soon. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em> Anya, the pregnant woman who ruined the moment, is my sister. </em> </p><p>Clarke stared at the text for a long time. Her phone dinged while still in Lexa’s apartment parking lot but went home instead of going back up. The kiss... the almost kiss had been a moment of weakness. She was overcome with joy that Lexa had not been hurt despite the dramatic and crazy scene from that afternoon and those feelings made her guard momentarily drop. </p><p>Of course, she was attracted to Lexa Woods. Who wouldn’t be?  </p><p>But Clarke could not fall for a firefighter. She could not handle the stress of loving someone with such a dangerous job. The idea alone was terrifying. She could not become her mother, waiting at home for the phone call that her spouse died in a fire. </p><p>Not that she wanted to date or fall in love with Lexa. It was attraction and nothing more. </p><p>She locked her phone and fell back on her bed. The lights were on. She threw an arm over her face to block them out.  </p><p>For some reason, Clarke felt like crying. </p><hr/><p><em> Chief Griffin glared at her from across the firehouse. When the alarm sounded, he was the first to climb into the truck. Lexa was somehow dressed and sitting in the back in record time. There was no one else in the back with her.  </em> </p><p><em> “Woods,” the chief called. “You go in first and clear the scene. I'll be on walkie and direct the others.” </em> </p><p><em> “Yes, sir,” she replied. </em> </p><p><em> It was only then that Lexa realized she could not see his face. His gaze was all she could see and his eyes suspiciously resembled Clarke’s. </em> </p><p><em> The fire was in full effect by the time they arrived. The house was complete engulfed in flames. She should never have been allowed inside alone. No reasonable chief or any other firefighter would allow her inside without a partner. </em> </p><p><em> A door slammed closed behind her when she entered a bedroom to check for survivors. There was no one. The fire was not hot. In fact, she was cold. She looked down and her feet were bare. Surely the fire would damage her skin. </em> </p><p><em> “You’ll ruin her, you know,” Chief Griffin said from the doorway. </em> </p><p><em> Lexa was unable to turn around to face him. She was frozen in place. The flames were now circling her. There was no way out of the fire. </em> </p><p><em> “You’ll ruin her, Lexa. You know it as well as I do. You ruin everyone. You killed her.  </em> <em> Costia </em> <em> . Remember? I can’t let you ruin Clarke, too. I'm sorry, Lexa. You were a good lieutenant.” </em> </p><p><em> The door closed. She turned but the man was gone. She was alone, surrounded by flames, and dying. She was going to die just as  </em> <em> Costia </em> <em>  had. </em> </p><p><em> She would never see Clarke Griffin again. She fell to her knees as the room exploded. </em> </p><p>Lexa sat up in bed and gasped. She clutched her chest. It was a dream. </p><p>The hot shower made her feel better. The steam unclogged her stuffy sinuses and cleared her head. When she got out, her sister was in the kitchen. </p><p>“I needed this,” Lexa said, taking the coffee mug from Anya’s hand. “Thank you.” </p><p>“Listen,” she said. Anya leaned against the counter. “I’m sorry about last night. Was that your girlfriend?” </p><p>“No. Don’t worry about it. She's... she’s just a friend.” </p><p>“Friend. Right.” </p><p>Lexa chuckled. She scoffed as she pulled open the fridge door. “Well, your interruption sure didn’t do me any favors,” she said. “But it isn’t your fault.” </p><p>She took out the carton of eggs and cracked two into a bowl. She scrambled them with a small whisk. Lexa could not stop picturing Clarke’s eyes, so close to her own last night, and their intense gaze. Picturing them reminded her of the dream. Jake’s stare had been so hard and terrifying. </p><p>“I’m still sorry,” Anya said. “Did she think we were.... a couple or something?” </p><p>“I don’t know,” she said. “I haven’t heard from her since she left last night.” </p><p>“Are you working today?” </p><p>“Yes. I have a ten-hour shift. You'll be on your own today.” </p><p>Anya shrugged before going back to the guest room. Lexa heard the bed squeak when her sister laid back down. She wished she could fall back to sleep. But, unfortunately or fortunately, she had a demanding job unlike Anya. </p><p>The memory of last night replayed as she drove to the station. She had wanted to kiss the blonde so badly. </p><hr/><p>Clarke closed the office door. She had two hours left of her shift. Unless something terrible happened, she could be in her bathtub with a glass of wine in two and a half. </p><p>She should not have thought the words. Not ten minutes later, someone said her name over the intercom and reported any on duty doctor to report to emergency. Trauma was complete chaos when she got down to the unit.  </p><p>“Griffin,” Harper said. “Dr. Griffin, I mean. Someone was dumped at the door. Dr. Kane took the man back to room five but... multiple gunshots wounds.” </p><p>She nodded and grabbed two latex gloves from her pocket. She shoved them on as she pushed open the exam room door. She sighed when she noticed the familiar face lying on the table </p><p>“What the hell did you get yourself into now, Mick?” she asked. </p><p>The man coughed and blood fell from his mouth. “Just... wanted to... see you,” he said through shaky breaths.  </p><p>“Collapsed lung,” she said. Clarke held the stethoscope to his chest for a moment longer. “We need to clear an OR for removal. The lung is punctured. Needs to be reinflated.” </p><p>Kane nodded and made the incision. Mick had passed out and could not feel the pain. They did not have time for numbing medication. If they waited any longer, the man would die. He was in here multiple times a year. Mick was mostly homeless as far as anyone could tell since he never provided an address when treated.  </p><p>She spent the next two hours repairing the man’s body. They removed three bullets from his chest and stomach. He would probably be fine in a few months with proper care, but she doubted he would receive that. The wounds would never heal properly on the streets. She did her best to explain this to Mick. He nodded along. His eyes were on her chest. </p><p>Her stepfather followed her out of the room. </p><p>“Your mom was very happy that you came over for dinner,” Marcus said. </p><p>“I was happy, too,” she said. “Even if she begs me for a grandchild. You know why I can’t have a kid right now, don’t you?” </p><p>“Yes. I mean, I would love to have a baby around to spoil but you have this trauma unit running better than it ever has before. But Clarke... take it from me. Don't wait too long and then lose the opportunity. If it's something you want, then do it.” </p><p>Clarke sighed. She leaned her hip against the nurses’ desk and put her chin in her hand.  </p><p>“I don’t want a kid,” she said. “Does that make me a bad person?” </p><p>“No. Am I a bad person for not having children with Eva?” </p><p>Eva was Marcus’ first wife. They were married for twenty-five years before she passed away from cancer. Clarke used to think that her mother and stepfather only married because they had the deaths of their spouses in common. But seeing them together has proved that incorrect. They might not be each other’s first love, or even most important, but they loved each other and were supposed to be married. </p><p>Jake and Abby were married for fifteen years. Like Marcus, the two would likely still be married to him if he had not died. </p><p>“Of course not,” she said with a small grin. </p><p>“You know,” he said. “I might not have had my own kid, but I'm glad to call you my stepdaughter. You make me proud every single day.” </p><p>“Thank you,” she said. Clarke pushed away from the desk and bumped their shoulders together. “Stepdad.” </p><p>Marcus smiled as she started back to her office. </p><p>She was catching up on paperwork when Raven opened the door a half an hour later. She had a suspicious grin on her face. </p><p>“I got a man stuck in an elevator on Somerset,” Raven said. “I need a doctor on site in case things get ugly. Want to tag along?” </p><p>Clarke stood. She nodded. “Yes,” she said.  </p><p>She loved riding along with Raven and Wick in the ambulance. The opportunity to do so did not come often but things were slow in the emergency room today. Clarke thought Raven’s job was the most exciting job in the world and most important. The paramedics were the first to help a victim when trauma happened on the streets. </p><p>“Rescue squad is already on the scene,” Raven said as they ran out of the double doors. “He’s bleeding pretty bad and they aren’t sure what to do. The elevator is stuck and putting pressure on the guy’s stomach. Pretty sure his ribs are already broken.” </p><p>The scene was worse than Clarke could have imagined. Somehow, the man had gotten caught under the elevator. The bottom was almost lined up with the ground. The only thing stopped it from lining up with the floor was the man’s body. </p><p>Rescue squad meant station 16. She saw Lincoln, Murphy, and Jaha holding up the elevator to keep the man from being cut in half.  </p><p>“Griffin,” Murphy said. “Thank god we got a real doc and not just those bums.” </p><p>He nodded toward Raven and Wick. If the man was not keeping the elevator up, she might have punched him. But Clarke knew that John Murphy was joking. He tended to make jokes when things were too serious. </p><p>Clarke laid her bag on the ground and took her stethoscope from around her neck. She listened to his chest. His breathing was out of rhythm and his lung rattled with every breath. </p><p>“His broken ribs have punctured his lungs,” Clarke said. “We need to get him out from under the elevator. If his lungs collapse...” </p><p>“What do you think we’re doing here, princess?” Murphy asked. He grunted with the effort of holding the thousand-pound elevator up. “I’m not here for a work-out.” </p><p>“How are you going to get the thing moved?” she asked. </p><p>“Woods is working on it,” he said. </p><p>Her heart skipped a beat at the sound of Lexa’s name. She was somewhere nearby trying to fix the elevator. Their almost kiss from three nights ago weighed heavily on her mind. She should not have tried kissing the lieutenant even if the pregnant woman was only her sister. Clarke could not afford to put any tension in their working relationship. Their city depended on them too much. </p><p>The elevator made a loud clanking sound and moved upward only an inch. It was enough to remove the pressure from his body. Blood poured from the wound where the weight had been on the man’s torso. </p><p>“This is bad, guys,” Clarke said. “I need you to get Kane on the phone. Call the hospital and tell Octavia to bring an ECMO machine into the field. Lincoln, do it now.” </p><p>Blood continued to spill on the white tile floor and into the elevator shaft. She had to stop the bleeding, or he would bleed out before they could save him. </p><p>“Tell Lex to lower the elevator again,” she said. </p><p>“What?” Jaha asked. “We just moved the thing.” </p><p>“Do it now or he dies!” Clarke shouted. She was trying to hold his wound together to stop the bleeding a little bit. “They weight is the only thing keeping him alive right now, chief.” </p><p>“Woods!” he called into the shaft. “Did you hear the doc?” </p><p>The elevator moved back into place a moment later. The bleeding stopped. </p><p>Her phone rang in her pocket. She looked around and motioned for Raven to answer it.  </p><p>“It’s O,” she said.  </p><p>Raven stuck the phone between Clarke’s ear and shoulder so her hands could continue working on the man who was stuck. </p><p>“What’s up?” Clarke asked. </p><p>“You want an ECMO?” she asked. “In the field? How the hell am I supposed to make that happen? They aren't going to pay for that. Insurance won’t cover it either if he even has any.” </p><p>“We’ll worry about that later,” she said. “Find a way to do it. Look, O, this is really bad and... he’s not going to survive much longer without it.” </p><p>The bleeding might have stopped but they needed to remove the elevator before the rescue squad fatigued and they dropped the weight even an inch. If they did, the man’s body would be cut in half. </p><p>“O, call Finn,” she said. “He owes me a favor. See what he can do. Tell him it's an emergency.” </p><p>“Ugh, Clarke. You're going to make me talk to that creep? Fine. I'll call him on my way to you. I'll be there in ten minutes.” </p><hr/><p>Octavia ran through the doors of the hotel where the rescue squad surrounded Clarke in front of the elevator shaft. She was listening to the man’s heart and lungs with her stethoscope. </p><p>“How the hell is this elevator not chopping this guy in half?” Octavia asked as she laid her medical bag on the ground and squatted beside the other doctor. </p><p>“Lexa,” she said. “What did Finn say?” </p><p>“He’s making some calls.” </p><p>“His lungs sound worse than they did five minutes ago. He's been unconscious since I arrived. We'll have to make a choice. Either try to take the pressure off and stop the bleeding or wait to hear about the ECMO.” </p><p>“I don’t know, Clarke. This looks bad. We might not be able to wait any longer.” </p><p>Just as she spoke, five police officers rolled a giant ECMO machine into the room. The rescue squad that was not supporting the elevator weight moved out of the way. Finn was in front of the crowd. He smiled down at Clarke and motioned toward the machine.  </p><p>“At your service, princess,” Finn said. </p><p>Clarke sighed in relief. “Thank you,” she said.  </p><p>The entire crew set helped her hook the man up to the machine. The machine acted as an outer lung while they removed the man from the elevator. It was used for heart and lung surgery but would prove vital to keep the patient from bleeding to death. </p><p>Once he was on the stretcher, the firefighters released the elevator. It dropped three feet before stopping. If they had not been taking on the weight, the man would have been killed. </p><p>“You guys okay down there?” Lexa called from above. </p><p>“All clear, Lieutenant,” Lincoln said. “You can come down.” </p><p>Clarke, Octavia, and Raven were in the back of the ambo with the patient. Wick hopped in the driver’s seat while Clarke and Rae rode in the back. Octavia was standing outside the doors. The man was slowly regaining consciousness but would require months of therapy before he was normal again. The damage to his spine might prove worse than it looked. Kane was on standby and waiting for him to return. </p><p>The drive back was quick and loud with the sirens on. As expected, Kane met them at the doors. He immediately took the man back for surgery and began barking orders at the OR nurses. </p><p>“Clarke?” </p><p>She turned at the sound of her name and met Lexa’s green eyes. </p><p>“Hey,” she said. “Um... good work out there. He would have died if you guys hadn’t of stopped the elevator from falling.” </p><p>“Just doing our job, doc,” Lexa said with a teasing smile. “Speaking of... can you look at my leg? I think it may be bleeding under my uniform.” </p><p>“Sure. Follow me.” </p><p>When they were alone in the room, the air felt thicker. It was more awkward now that they were alone. </p><p>“Remove your pants,” Clarke said as she put on gloves. </p><p>Lexa did as she directed. She sat on the exam table. There was a trail of drying blood running down her leg from the wound. Her stitches were ripped open. </p><p>“This must have hurt,” Clarke said. “When did it happen?” </p><p>“When I first got there,” she said. “I hit my thigh on the corner of something. Must have got caught on my uniform.” </p><p>“It’s going to scar. I'll have to redid it but the others will leave a mark. Do me a favor?” </p><p>Lexa smirked. The tension eased. </p><p>“Whatever you want,” Lexa said. </p><p>“Keep the bandage on it this time. Every second that you’re at work.” </p><p>“Yes, ma’am.” </p><p>Her tone was teasing and light. Clarke met her eyes. She wanted to apologize for showing up unaccounted at the other woman’s door, but Lexa spoke before she could. </p><p>“About the other night...” Lexa said. “I didn’t mean to, umm... do anything to make you feel weird or uncomfortable. Anya... she has very bad timing.” </p><p>Clarke swallowed thickly as she prepared to numb Lexa’s leg.  </p><p>“I didn’t know you had a sister,” she said.  </p><p>“Well, we... we aren’t biological siblings. It's a long story. She got into some trouble and is staying with me for a while.” </p><p>Clarke knew next to nothing about Lexa’s childhood. She heard rumors about the woman not having family around. There had been no one at her rank change ceremony when she was promoted to Lieutenant except the other guys. Clarke figured her family lived far away or was busy. </p><p>Her own mother would never miss her graduation though. Looking back, she should have been more suspicious. </p><p>“Sorry for just showing up like that,” she said.  </p><p>“It’s no problem,” Lexa said. “I mean... you could come over whenever. If you wanted to.” </p><p>Clarke began stitching the wound. Octavia opened the door and motioned someone inside. A moment later, Finn stepped into the small space. </p><p>“Lieutenant,” he said, nodding.  </p><p>“Collins,” Lexa replied coolly. </p><p>“Clarke,” he said.  </p><p>“Hey, Finn,” she said. “Thanks for bringing out that ECMO. I owe you one.” </p><p>“Sure. The attorney general signed off on it, but hey... I was thinking that I could stop by your apartment after my shift.” </p><p>Lexa cleared her throat and slid off the table as soon as the last stitch was tied. She pulled the pants all the way up her legs and grabbed her uniform jacket. </p><p>“Thanks, doc,” she said on her way out of the room. </p><p>Clarke watched as the door closed behind her. She looked back at Finn. “I’m not getting home until really late,” she said. “Maybe another time.” </p><hr/><p>All Lexa could think about on the way home was how Finn already knew where Clarke lived. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>if there is a character you want to make an appearance, let me know. i somehow blank on names when coming up with them xx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>They were sitting around the dining table when the woman walked in. The trucks were washed and ready for their next run, but no calls had come in that day. Murphy, a surprisingly good cook, decided to make them dinner since it was a slow day. They were laughing and having a good time until the room went silent from the new visitor.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can we help you?” Lexa asked. She didn’t want to sound rude but was cautious.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m looking for </span>
  <span>Lieutenant</span>
  <span> Woods,” the woman said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa stood and tossed her napkin on the table. “That’s me,” she said. “We can talk in my office if you prefer.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, that’s... that’s not necessary. I actually... I wanted to come here to... I wanted to thank you.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The woman was nervous. She twisted her hands as all the firefighters stared. They were rarely visited by civilians that were not enthusiastic kids wanting to take a picture on the trucks. But this woman was in her early twenties. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My dad was the guy in the elevator,” she said. “He woke up today.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The guys nodded in understanding now. She smiled as the tension eased and there was no threat. Dealing with civilians </span>
  <span>daily</span>
  <span> made them weary.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s great,” Lincoln said. He stood and shook the woman’s hand. “Your dad’s a pretty tough guy. Glad to hear he’s awake now.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” she said. “Me too. The doctor who worked on him... she told me what you guys did and I wanted to come here and thank you in </span>
  <span>person.</span>
  <span> Seriously. You saved his life and I... I'm so grateful. My dad is all I have.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa’s heart clenched in her chest. Her previous worries about Anya and the trouble she seemed to attract faded. She was lucky to have a sister at all. She was lucky to have someone to love the way she loved Anya. She would kill for that woman.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re very welcome,” Lexa said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man had been unconscious for two days according to Lincoln, who asked Octavia, and Lexa was happy that he was now awake. She smiled as the woman left the room again. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The rest of the dinner was even better than before. It was only when they laid down to rest that the alarms sounded. Monty had left for the night, so Emori’s voice filled their ears instead.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ambulance 61 needed on scene of a suspected OD in Mayfield Park.”</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Raven and Wick ran out of the room. They loaded into the ambulance and the sound of their engine faded as they rode away. Lexa sighed as her head fell back on the pillow. She had a door which was one of the perks of being </span>
  <span>Lieutenant</span>
  <span>. But the problem was people always needed something.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Someone knocked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come in,” Lexa said. She sat up and turned so her feet were on the ground.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The chief stood in the doorway. He rarely came into the sleeping chambers.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We got a new recruit coming into the unit tomorrow,” he said. “She wants to be an EMT at this station. A candidate for the rescue squad. I don’t want to sound sexist but...”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I got it, chief,” she said. “We need more women on the squad, but I should be fair and make sure she fits into the unit.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Exactly.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>They nodded at each other before the chief left. She rubbed her eyes. She texted her sister to make sure everything was okay before laying down again. She must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew was the sound of the alarms of an emergency call. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Collapsed building. Engine 81. Ambulance 61. Police en route to Colin and Fourth.”</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>The sky was dark, but the street was lit from the fire. People were coming out of their homes to see what the commotion was. The flames were billowing out of the upstairs windows. Smoke filled the air. The cops were </span>
  <span>asking</span>
  <span> people to stay back.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Someone screamed from inside the house. </span>
  <span>If</span>
  <span> the person was breathing, that was a good sign.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lincoln and Murphy clear the bottom floor,” Lexa said. “Nathan and I will clear the top. Everyone else fall into place outside. Vents and hoses. You know the drill. Go. Everyone’s safe. Find a partner.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>They set off to do the job assigned. Lexa kicked open the door and was hit with the heat immediately. She was not surprised by it like she had been when starting on the crew. That felt like forever ago.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The stairs were intact. She called out for anyone to respond in hopes of falling the person who screamed. There was no one in the first bedroom. Nathan broke open the next door and called out for survivors. The fire was worse in here. There was someone on the bed. Lexa searched for a pulse but did not find one.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“DOA upstairs,” she said into the walkie on her shoulder.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Elderly</span>
  <span> man?” Jaha replied.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Copy.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The next bedroom was empty. She called out and heard a bark from somewhere down the hall. A dog ran out of the next door they burst open. He ran down the stairs and out the open front door. She heard a child shout with happiness from outside.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>They cleared the upstairs. She started down the steps before they could collapse. She searched the bottom floor for Lincoln and Murphy since she had not heard him in the walkie for a few minutes. Jaha was calling them out of the house because it was heating too fast.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Linc!” she shouted. “Murphy!”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>No response. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The ceiling behind her fell and blocked the front door. She needed to leave before the entire house fell or the house flashed.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She found the men lying in the kitchen. She was not sure what happened at first. Lincoln moaned. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nathan, help me drag them out,” she said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa grabbed Lincoln’s arm and dragged him out of the house. She expected Nathan to follow her with </span>
  <span>Murphy,</span>
  <span> but he did not come out. She went back inside and found Murphy in the same place. Nathan was nowhere to be found.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She dragged John out of the house, called for Nathan in the walkie, and searched the bottom floor for him. He was not there. The stairs were almost inaccessible by now. She was worried about Lincoln and </span>
  <span>Murphy,</span>
  <span> but the paramedics were working on them now. She needed to find Nathan.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>When she finally did, he burst through the flames in the living room with a little girl over his shoulder. She sighed in relief. As soon as they were in the backyard, the floor </span>
  <span>collapsed</span>
  <span>. They would have been dead if they had stayed in the house another minute.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa threw her helmet on the back of the truck as the paramedics gave oxygen to the girl.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nathan, </span>
  <span>you</span>
  <span> stupid son of a bitch,” she said. Lexa grabbed his shoulders and shook him harshly. “Next time, tell me where the hell you are.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Copy, </span>
  <span>lieutenant</span>
  <span>,” he said with a smile. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa returned it and hugged him tightly.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The happy moment was forgotten when she remembered how badly Lincoln and Murphy looked after coming out of the fire. She ran over to the ambulance where her men were strapped to gurneys and still </span>
  <span>unconscious</span>
  <span>.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lincoln, for once, looked small.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re headed to Memorial,” Wick said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa knew Memorial was two blocks further than St. Mary’s but there was no way she would have let them go anywhere else. She wondered if Clarke and Octavia were on duty. If not, they would be.</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>“Incoming!” someone shouted down the hall.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Octavia was filling out paperwork in the break room when she heard the call. She came out of the room and tossed the chart on the charge desk. She ran outside to see what the paramedics were bringing in.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She recognized the boots of a fireman as Wick and Raven lifted the stretcher out of the back. There was an American flag button on the side of one.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Lincoln</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Someone was pushing on her shoulders to keep her back. Clarke's voice was in her ear. She could not make out the words through the blood rushing in her ears. The blonde was not stronger than her, but Octavia knew she had to stay out of this one.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Get him into room six, Indra,” Clarke said over her shoulder. “</span>
  <span>Harper,</span>
  <span> make sure Octavia stays out.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The nurse took Clarke’s place. She watched Lincoln be rushed inside. His eyes were closed. Dread filled her body. He couldn’t die. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s going to be okay, O,” Harper said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She led her toward a chair in the hallway outside the room. Octavia wanted to burst down the door and make Lincoln wake up. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please,” she begged to no one. “Please. Please, don’t take him from me. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Not now</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Oh god.”</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>The waiting room was filled with firefighters, paramedics, and cops. Monty ran into the lobby and right to Lexa. She stood.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We don’t know anything yet,” she said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mom’s on her way,” he said. “This is... I don’t know. I never thought he would get hurt even though...”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know. We all feel that way. But he’ll be fine.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Monty!” Harper said. She ran toward him and through her arms around his neck. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa stepped back and let them have a moment together. Harper was filling him on what happened when he came in. The two lived together and had for many years. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looked around and found Octavia pacing the other side of the waiting room. Some of the firefighters were talking to her. She seemed to be engaged and not solely focused on the prospects. Lexa just wanted to know something. Anything.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How long is the surgery supposed to last?” Monty asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harper sighed. “Not long usually,” she said. “But everyone is different, Mon. It doesn’t necessarily mean bad things.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure,” he said, sarcastically. </span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Clarke felt like the most selfish person in the world. She was clearing Lincoln’s lungs and thinking about Lexa. She had not saw the woman before taking Lincoln back to the OR. She could have come in with another paramedic crew. The fire was bad as their emergency room proved. There were two burn victims, one of them a child, and two firefighters, that she knew of, being worked on currently. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Suction,” she said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Indra put the tool in her hand. She liked having Indra in the room while performing surgery. Especially tough ones. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally, Lincoln’s lungs were cleared. He would regain consciousness soon. The medicine stopped which was keeping him asleep during. Indra shook him until his eyes opened. Clarke sighed in relief. She tossed her gown and gloves in </span>
  <span>the</span>
  <span> trash on her way out of the operating room. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Octavia was the first to reach her. Clarke’s chest felt a million times lighter when she noticed Lexa standing over her shoulder.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s fine,” she said. “No long-term damage. Short-term, he’ll need some time off to strengthen his lungs again. There must have been a hole or something in his suit. He passed out from inhalation.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The entire room let out a collective sigh of relief.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Octavia wrapped her arms around Clarke's neck. While they hugged, Clarke could not take her eyes off Lexa. It could have easily been Lexa on that table. The thought made her nauseated.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>John Murphy had woken a few minutes after arriving. They did not lose anyone that night except the DOA at the scene. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Octavia released her and hugged Monty. Lexa walked forward and touched Clarke’s elbow gently. She dropped her hand after only a moment. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” Lexa asked softly.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” she replied. “Everything went as to be expected in there.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know what I mean.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sighed. Clarke ran a hand down her face. She sniffled.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m okay,” she said, meeting Lexa’s eyes. “Are you?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I am now.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke nodded in understanding. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me too,” she said as they stared at each other.</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Lincoln was awake when Octavia walked into the room. She walked calmly to avoid overwhelming him. She sat in the chair next to the bed. Lincoln reached for her hand. He would probably have trouble talking for a few hours and his throat would be sore for days.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is not what I meant when I asked you to stop by after your shift,” she said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lincoln smiled and squeezed her hand. He coughed. She placed the straw in his mouth and waited for him to drink the water. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He squeezed her hand again. Somehow, she knew what he meant. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine, Linc,” she said. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>We’re </span>
  </em>
  <span>fine.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Octavia had only known about the baby for a few weeks. They had not planned on having a baby right now but were very happy. She had been so scared that their child would grow up without their dad. She could not lose him. He was her entire world. The three of them against the world.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t do that to me again, dick,” she said as the tears finally fell. She had held them in all night while waiting for the results. “If you died...”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He squeezed her hand before she could finish the sentence.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love... you,” he rasped. “And...”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t say it.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Cletus.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Octavia groaned.</span>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“And there’s your baby,” the doctor said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She pointed to the screen where a white blob resembling a baby appeared. She moved the wand on Anya’s stomach. This was the first time she had seen pictures of the thing. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It looks like an alien,” Anya said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa sighed. “It’s amazing,” she said. “I mean... it’s a real baby.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You think I shoved a doll up there? </span>
  <span>Of course,</span>
  <span> it’s a real one.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Looking at the screen, Anya had a hard time believing it. She felt the baby move sometimes, but right now it was moving its hand on the screen. The thing was alive and appeared healthy.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you tell the gender?” Lexa asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” the doctor said. “Mom, do you want to know?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The name sent dread through her body. She shook her head. “No,” she said. “I don’t care. I’m giving it up as soon as they’re born.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The doctor looked at Lexa who was still staring at the screen. Anya felt guilty for bringing her sister along. She had a bleeding heart. She lived to help people and, right now, this baby was one of those people.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Unless you want to know,” Anya said. “Do you?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa cleared her throat. She tore her eyes from the screen and shook her head. “Umm... no,” she said. “It’s fine.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before they left, the doctor handed Lexa a small envelope. She slipped it into her pocket as they walked through the parking lot.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think I need to leave, Lex,” Anya said. “Go stay with my friend in Indiana until I have the kid and then... I don’t know. Go somewhere else.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You aren’t supposed to leave the state.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No one is going to check on me, Lex. You know that.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The cops rarely did checks on charges less than felonies. She would not get caught leaving the state. She climbed into the passenger seat.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The envelope that woman gave you,” she said. “What’s in it?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She wrote the gender down in case I change my mind.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just in case </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>change your </span>
  <span>mind?</span>
  <span> You aren’t even the mom.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Neither are you.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anya rolled her eyes. The words were true. The only attachment she felt for the baby was obligation. Obligation to do the right thing. The right thing was to find someone who would love them the way they deserved to be loved. She deserved to give this baby everything she never had.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lexa,” she said. “Do you want this kid?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The car was silent for a while. The air was thick with tension. She felt sorry for ever calling Lexa that night. If she hadn’t, her sister would never know about the kid.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finally, she spoke again. “You aren’t responsible for it,” she said. “Someone will adopt it. I’ve been talking to a woman at an agency. These families are </span>
  <em>
    <span>rich </span>
  </em>
  <span>rich</span>
  <span>, Lex. The adoption alone costs like thirty grand and that’s not involving everything their insurance pays for. My </span>
  <span>hospital</span>
  <span> stays would all be covered.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa paid out of pocket for her visit today. She would be reimbursed if they went through with the adoption.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t have time for a kid,” Lexa finally said. “Can I think about it for a few days?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” she said. “You have a whole month if you want.”</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Lexa woke early on her day off and ran through the park. She wished she had more time to run since the exercise always cleared her mind and gave her something else to focus on. That was proving hard today though. She could think of little else besides Anya’s baby.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She didn’t want the kid to go into another home but did not know if she wanted to keep it. She could not imagine herself as a mother. How would she have the time with work? She was on call constantly. Being a single mother was not ideal either. Who would watch the kid when she had to work?</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was no one to help her.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She ran faster. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lincoln was off duty for two weeks. Murphy was off for one. He returned tomorrow. She would be glad to see his face around the firehouse despite how annoying and self-</span>
  <span>righteous</span>
  <span> he could be.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She walked up the stairs to an apartment building near the park. She knocked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Octavia pulled open the door. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” she said. “Thank god you’re here. He's driving me insane!”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She chuckled as they walked through the front hall and into the living room. Lincoln was sat on the couch and watching a football game.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who are you watching?” Lexa asked, plopping down beside him. A beer appeared in her hand a moment later.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who do you think?” he asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>They watched the game for a while. He coughed every so often, probably from the soreness in his throat, and drank a lot of water. She could tell that he was itching to return to work. Lincoln, like herself, did not like time off. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Octavia sat in the recliner across the room. She smiled at Lexa. “So,” she said. “Clarke.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa rolled her eyes. She took the last drink of her beer and sat the bottle on the coffee table. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I tried, O,” she said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She and Lincoln raised an eyebrow, surprised. Clarke had not told them.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I asked her out and she said no,” Lexa said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” she asked. “But... she likes you. I know she does.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa shrugged. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stupid Finn,” Octavia said, folding her arms across her chest. She seemed lost in thought for a moment. “I hate him.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa’s heart started to beat faster. “She’s seeing him?” she asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” she said firmly. “They slept together like... a year ago and he won’t stop trying to... let’s just say that he’s very persistent. She's said no to him like a hundred times. She hasn’t been out with anyone since.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thought of Clarke and Finn together made her stomach turn. She had more reason to hate him now.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, either way,” Lexa said. “She said no.”</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>“You said no?” </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke turned when she heard Octavia’s voice from the doorway. She laid the pen down that she was signing papers with. She did not have time to deal with whatever Octavia wanted right now. Her journal entry was due at midnight and it was nine.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” she asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“To Lexa. She asked you out and you said no?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“To be exact, I did not say no.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then what did you say?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke sighed and rubbed her eyes in annoyance. “Nothing. She just noticed that I...”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wanted to say no? Yeah. You know what? You aren’t allowed to ask me about her anymore.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine. Can I go back to work now?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever, Clarke.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She closed the door more harshly than was necessary. Clarke debated letting her go and finishing her journal, but she couldn’t. She pushed away from the desk and pulled open her office door again.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell is your problem?” she asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Octavia did not turn around to face her for a moment. Indra glanced at them as she passed. She could see Harper and Jasper watching the two doctors from the charge station.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You!” she said. “You’re my problem. Lexa... she’s totally fucking into you and you just... I don’t even know.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Before you continue with this temper tantrum,” she said. Octavia looked ready to explode again until she spoke again. “How did you feel when they brought Lincoln in the other day?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How did you feel when they </span>
  <span>brought</span>
  <span> him off the ambulance and you thought he might die?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Terrible. Heartbroken. It’s the worst feeling in the world. But... Clarke... even if... even if I knew he was going to die, god forbid, I wouldn’t change a thing between us. I'm not going to let fear keep me from being happy in this moment. What happened with your dad is terrible. He shouldn't have died, but he died doing what he loved. He died a hero, Clarke. Are you going to live your whole life wondering what could have happened between you and Lex because you’re scared?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I...”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke found herself unable to finish. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I never thought I'd see the day,” Octavia said with a proud smile. “Clarke Griffin is speechless. Damn, I'm good.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke closed her office door and leaned against it for a moment. Her mind was racing.</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Lexa ladled soup into a bowl. She looked back at the empty seat Anya had occupied for the last few weeks. She came home from work the day before to find her sister gone. She glanced at the note Anya left on the fridge.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm sorry. Don’t worry about me, big sis. Love you.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She ate while standing at the counter. Most of the food in her fridge was healthy. She had gone to the store the day before her sister left. She wanted to have whatever food Anya wanted around the house since she was gone for long hours. The food she bought was supposed to be good for pregnant women.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa tried not to think about Anya or the baby. It was easier this way. If Anya had stayed, she would have ended up keeping the kid. The sonogram was still on the fridge.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a knock at her door. For a moment, she thought it was her sister. But the person had blonde hair.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was Clarke.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey?” Lexa said cautiously.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I... can I come in?” she asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa stepped to the side. She closed the door behind them.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I made dinner,” she said. “You want some? It's this weird carrot something.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ginger. Ginger is good for nausea. I can smell it. Speaking of your sister, is she around?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa shook her head and cleared her throat. She poured some soup into a bowl for Clarke.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She took off,” she said. “She does that.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And the baby?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not my problem anymore, is it? She wants to give it up, I think. We, uh... I don’t think it’s a good idea. We... we grew up in the system.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She felt weird telling Clarke something so personal. Lincoln was the only person she had talked about her childhood with. He surely told Octavia, but she would have known better than to tell Clarke.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe she’ll change her mind,” Clarke said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The news didn’t seem to bother her. Lexa was relieved.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She won’t,” Lexa said. “I hope the kid finds a good place. I'm sure she will.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She? It’s a girl?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa nodded and grabbed the piece of paper from a nearby drawer. The doctor had written the word </span>
  <em>
    <span>girl </span>
  </em>
  <span>on a small notecard. Her heart clenched again.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lincoln’s doing better,” Lexa said. “I went by and saw him the other day.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Great. I've been getting updates from O. She said he’s ready to get back to the station.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah. He’s going crazy being stuck in the house.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>They ate in silence for a few minutes. Only the sound of footsteps from the apartment above could be heard. Some kids shouted and laughed. Lexa could remember seeing five kids come out of the place once. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not that I mind having you here,” Lexa started. “But why did you stop by?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was on my way home,” Clarke said. “And I don’t know. I just wanted to see you for a little while.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not very exciting around here,” she said, shrugging.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa grabbed their empty bowls and laid them in the sink. When she turned around, Clarke was standing in front of her. She had a very intense look in her eyes. It was the same look from their almost kiss a few weeks ago.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When they brought Lincoln and John in the other day,” Clarke said. “I thought you were going to be wheeled in behind them. I was positive that something had happened to you.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But it didn’t,” she said. “I got lucky.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, you did. That's what I'm scared of. What if that luck runs out?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Clarke... I can’t predict the future.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke rubbed her eyes. She put one hand on the counter behind Lexa and leaned her hip against it. They were standing very close. She could smell Clarke’s perfume. It was a clean scent. She liked it a lot.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What if we... tried,” Clarke said softly. “This. Whatever it is.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa swallowed and nodded. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But?” she asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But...” Clarke said. “I’d want to keep it between us. For now. I don’t want anyone to... I don’t know.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure. It's our business, right? No one has to know anything yet. You know how things travel in this city.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The space between them seemed even smaller now. Clarke’s eyes moved down to her mouth. Her hands moved to Lexa’s neck, cradling her jaw in her hands, and rubbing her thumb across Lexa’s cheek. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa sucked in a soft breath in anticipation. She did not want to pressure Clarke at all. She waited </span>
  <span>as long as</span>
  <span> she could before leaning in.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their lips met in the middle. Clarke made a soft noise when they finally kissed. Her hand moved to cup Lexa’s cheek. The kiss was slow and soft. It was everything Lexa imagined their first kiss would be. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they parted, Clarke was smiling.</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Lexa was in the common room when the call came in. A dive.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Rescue squad. Ambulance 61. Engine 81 for emergency dive. Car in the river.”</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a nervous energy as they climbed in the truck. They did not bother to dress in their full uniforms since their dive gear was locked up in the truck. Chief Jaha drove to the scene. They climbed out and ran to the bridge. The car was barely above water. She could see a woman smacking the back window and trying to break it open. It would never work unless she had something to help.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>They hooked Lexa to the cables and lowered her into the water. Nathan came down next. Jaha said something in her walkie just before she dove into the water. The car was completely submerged now and </span>
  <span>there</span>
  <span> was no time to waste.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The woman was shouting from behind the glass. Nathan broke out the window on the other side of the car. It was sinking rapidly now. If she did not have the five equipment on, Lexa would already be close to running out of air. The woman had seconds to get out before losing </span>
  <span>consciousness</span>
  <span>. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nathan grabbed the back of the woman’s shirt and tried pulling her out of the car. She fought him because she could not see him. Lack of oxygen was getting to her brain.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She reached into the pocket of her rescue dive pants and found the hardest thing she could. She hit the window twice before it broke. The glass fell into the car. She grabbed the woman’s arm and dragged her out. The car fell to the depths as she did. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>A moment later, the car was out of sight in the black water.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The woman gasped as soon as she emerged from the top of the water. Lexa wrapped the cord around her waist and instructed her to hold on. The rest of the crew lifted her on the bridge. She spat up water when Raven pressed on her chest and took in her first full breath.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good job,” Raven said as the wheeled the stretcher past.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks,” she said. “You too, Rae.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Reporters, as usual, took pictures of the scene. For the first time, Lexa wondered if the news story would be on TV. She usually didn’t care but she knew that Clarke watched the news that played in the waiting room when she had any free time.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>They had not seen each other since their kiss three nights ago. Clarke had not stayed late that night. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She hoped Clarke was busy and not watching the TV.</span>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lincoln returned to work on Friday. Lexa had never been so happy to </span>
  <span>see his face</span>
  <span> walk</span>
  <span> through </span>
  <span>the </span>
  <span>common</span>
  <span> room </span>
  <span>doors. </span>
  <span>Murphy stood to hug him first. She was next and the rest of the crew followed. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The next hour passed </span>
  <span>quietly. They had a quick rescue of a boy from a collapsed stairwell and returned without </span>
  <span>drama. </span>
  <span>There </span>
  <span>was a text from Clarke</span>
  <span> when she got to the locker room. She unlocked it after getting undressed </span>
  <span>and read the message. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Everything okay?</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She smiled as she responded: </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes. We are at the station now. </span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Good. </span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa took her time showering. The door opened while she rinsed her hair and the sound of another shower starting surprised her. The men were not supposed to use these showers and Raven was out on a call.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She wrapped a towel around her body and pushed the curtain back. </span>
  <span>There was definitely someone in the shower next to hers. There was only two in this room for the women.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other person was done in five minutes. Lexa was fully dressed and sitting on the </span>
  <span>bench when the other woman came out of the shower. She had a towel around her body too but it did not matter much. Lexa already knew what the woman looked like underneath. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Carmen,” she said. “What are you doing here?” </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was transferred here a few days ago but I just started today,” she said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Carmen was a paramedic </span>
  <span>at the station Lexa worked before coming to 16. </span>
  <span>When Lexa was promoted, she was moved here since the last place had a lieutenant with seniority. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why did you get transferred?” Lexa asked. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other woman shrugged. “No idea,” she said. </span>
  <span>“Chief came to me and said it was an involuntary thing. Something about you guys needed an extra set of hands. I was the last in at station 32, so the first to go.” </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>It made sense but </span>
  <span>they did not need another paramedic here. </span>
  <span>Especially one with enough </span>
  <span>experience to work in a hospital. They were taking on rookies</span>
  <span>. Not someone like Carmen who could teach Wick. It was strange. Lexa reminded herself to ask Jaha about it before leaving tomorrow. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She would also need to tell Clarke. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are things like around here?” Carmen asked. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Everyone’s pretty tight,” she said. “</span>
  <span>Most of the time, things run smoothly. You’ll be fine here.</span>
  <span>”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good. Hopefully we get to work together again.” </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The way Carmen looked at her reminded Lexa of their short lived relationship. The two had sex casually for two years before trying to date. Lexa called things off after two weeks. Things hadn’t felt right anymore. She told Carmen that she was not ready for a commitment. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>And it was true then. Until she met Clarke a few months later.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>They came down the stairs together. To Lexa’s complete surprise, Clarke was sitting on the table and talking to Murphy.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, we found his finger inside the can,” she said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No way,” Murphy said, eyes wide. “Did you reattach it?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yep.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Insane.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked over and nodded at Lexa before taking a bite of the apple in his hand. He saluted Clarke with two fingers and walked into the common room. Lexa glanced over but Carmen was gone. She must have walked between the two trucks as they walked past.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Lexa said, grinning. “I didn’t know you were coming by today.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I got off early,” she said, shrugging. “Thought I could spare a few minutes to come see you. It's been... like, six days.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry. I've been working eighteen hours shifts and trying to sleep as much as I can. This week’s been crazy.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She remembered the text from Clarke. She must have been asking if Lexa was back so she could stop here. It made Lexa happy.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Umm... I thought you said that you didn’t want to tell everyone?” Lexa asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I guess I missed you,” she said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa smiled and reached out to put her hand on Clarke’s hip. She put her finger through the beltloop on her jeans. She had changed into civilian clothes before leaving the hospital tonight. She looked extra cute. Lexa liked her in scrubs, too. She liked Clarke in everything.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When are you going home?” </span>
  <span>Clarke</span>
  <span> asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Butterflies erupted in her stomach. “Six hours,” she said. Lexa checked the time on her watch. It was eight. She was not set to get off until two am. “Why?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because I really want to see you tonight,” she said. “And I have tomorrow off work. I was thinking about coming by and...”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I would love for you to spend the night.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was Clarke’s turn to blush.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Give me a key,” Clarke said, holding out her hand.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa reached into her pocket and took out the keyring. She removed the apartment key and placed it in Clarke’s hand. The blonde leaned in for a kiss. One of the other firefighters in the garage whistled.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See you tonight,” Clarke said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She rubbed Lexa’s cheekbone before walking into the parking lot. Lexa could not take her eyes off the blonde until her car was gone.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa could not believe that she was going to sleep with Clarke Griffin tonight.</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Lexa checked the time. It was one </span>
  <span>forty-five</span>
  <span> in the morning. She could leave in fifteen minutes. Her heart threatened to pound out of her chest as she packed up her locker for the end of shift. Perhaps she could slip out a few minutes early without anyone noticing.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She hoped Clarke was still awake when she got there.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The alarm went off.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Engine 81. Ambulance 61. Police en route to domestic situation. Weapons discharge. Gunshot victim on Carlton.”</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa punched the locker hard enough to leave her knuckles red. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was no way that the situation was going to end in fifteen minutes. Her shift was going to last well into the morning hours. As lieutenant, she could not get out of the duty either. She did not have time to send Clarke a text.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa drove tonight since Jaha was gone for the night. She parked the truck close enough to reach the hose in case they needed to rescue or put out a fire. Lincoln carefully opened the back door but there were no gunshots like the last weapons </span>
  <span>situation</span>
  <span>.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The victim was already strapped to the gurney and Wick was pumping oxygen into his lungs. Raven was working to keep him from bleeding out. They searched the grounds for other victims but there was no one. The police had already arrested the perpetrator.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Finn smirked at her as he walked the man in cuffs toward his car.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>A shiver went down Lexa’s spine. His expression was not friendly. There was no way that he already knew about Clarke and her. Unless he was stalking them, he was only giving her his typical creepy looks.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But the rescue squad was not needed tonight. They had been called out unnecessarily. She had wasted her night with Clarke for a situation that was already under control. This rarely happened but, of course, it would happen tonight.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was not surprised to find Clarke asleep when she arrived home at five am. The woman looked like an angel sprawled out in her bed. Her legs were wrapped in the comforter. The second pillow, Lexa’s pillow, was held against her bare chest.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She changed quietly into a tank top and shorts. She carefully got into the bed without moving her too much.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa propped her head up with her elbow and stared at the blonde as she slept. She watched her chest rise and fall with every soft, deep breath. As much as she wished things could have turned out differently tonight, Lexa had never been happier than she was in this moment.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the woman’s forehead. Clarke sighed, turned over and pressed her body against Lexa’s. She wrapped an arm around her and pressed a kiss to her shoulder.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Goodnight, gorgeous,” Lexa whispered.</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Clarke awoke in Lexa’s bed. The apartment smelled heavenly. Lexa was cooking something in the kitchen. She could see her through the small crack in the door.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lexa?” she called.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the other woman opened the bedroom door, Clarke put her arm over her eyes to block out the light. Lexa’s blackout curtains were pulled close and she had no idea what time it was. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good morning,” she said, chuckling. “I hope I didn’t wake you up. I wanted to make you breakfast in bed, so you’ll have to stay here until it’s ready.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, you really cook? I mostly eat out.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes. I can cook decently. I don’t really like eating food without seeing the ingredients, so I prefer to cook my own food.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa cleared her throat and sat on the bed. She touched a loose string and pulled at it.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I, uh... I just do,” she said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke understood that she was not ready to talk about it yet. She nodded and reached out for Lexa’s hand.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry for not coming home on time last night,” Lexa said. She scooted forward until the blonde’s head was on her thigh. She ran her fingers through Clarke’s hair. “A call came in right when I was about to leave.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” she whispered, closing her eyes. “I was listening to the police radio.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa chuckled and the sound made her smile.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll try again another night,” she said. “But I am glad you stayed the night. I really, really liked having you here when I woke up. You were talking in your sleep.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did I say?” Clarke asked, blushing.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing I could make out. Mostly mumbles. It's cute though. You're a cute sleeper.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa laughed again and stood. The food was sizzling. She went to plate everything before bringing them into the bedroom. They sat in her bed and ate breakfast. Clarke was disappointed when Lexa mentioned that she had to report for duty in a few hours.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wanted to ask you something,” Lexa said after they finished. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure,” she said. “What is it?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are we? I mean, are we dating or... not?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that what you want?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa grew quiet for a moment. It made Clarke nervous.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” she admitted. “Do you?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, Lex. That's what I want.”</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Lexa parked her SUV in the staff parking lot and jumped out. There was new pep in her step due to the conversation with Clarke that morning. They were dating. She was Clarke’s girlfriend. Lexa could not explain the feeling in her chest every time she thought of the word. She had not been anyone’s girlfriend in a long time. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Woods!” </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke turned and came face to face with Finn Collins. He had not been spotted at the station in months. There was no obvious reason for him to be here now either.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I wanted to catch you before you went inside,” he said. “I just wanted to apologize for last night. I'm sure you had plans that were ruined from the call. We weren’t sure how many victims we had when the call went out.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The way he said plans made something close to dread sweep over her. Finn knew about Clarke. She did not know how but he knew. Octavia’s words about them sleeping together came to mind. He was in love with Clarke.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No problem,” Lexa said after a moment. “That’s our job, right? We go where we’re needed.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shrugged. “Most of the time,” Finn said. “I’ll let you get inside. Have a good shift.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You, too,” she said suspiciously.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>As she walked into the station, Lexa replayed the conversation over in her head. There was something off about him. He must know about their relationship. Someone at the station must have told him that Clarke came by the day before. Finn called them on purpose.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m losing it,” she whispered as she ascended the steps to the locker room. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sent a text to Clarke: </span>
  <em>
    <span>I hope your off day is nice and relaxing. Enjoy it for me, okay? Thinking of you.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Thinking of you, too. Octavia is trying to force me to workout. She's the DEVIL.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa laughed as she typed out another.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Tell her I said hi and to go easy on you. If she tries anything, tell her that I can make Lincoln work on their anniversary next week.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke sent back laughing faces and then another text.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Omg that’s true!! She's been going on and on about him being off that day</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She walked down the stairs and joined the rest of the crew in the common room. Lincoln was looking at something on his phone when she approached him. She took the phone from his hands and held it up so he couldn’t reach sitting down.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looked at the screen. There was a shopping page open and he was looking at cribs. She briefly thought about her unborn niece. Then the realization hit her.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god,” Lexa said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lincoln shook his head, panicked, and put a finger to his lips. “Not here,” he said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other members of their crew were busy doing their own things, but they would hear if Lexa mentioned a baby. Her best friend was having a baby. She was happy for him.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lexa,” Carmen said. She still had her backpack on. “What happened to your tires?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” she asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You still drive the same SUV, right? Parked in the back corner? Your tires are ruined. Looks slashed or something.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa ran outside followed by Lincoln, Murphy, and Carmen. A few other guys watched from the common room window. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her tires had been cut with a knife. Every single one.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa put her hands on her hips as she stared down at the damage.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Finn Collins.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lexa knew that no one was going to believe her when she said that the police officer, Finn Collins, had slashed her tires on purpose. She debated telling Clarke about her suspicions but did not want to risk worrying her without proof. Or looking stupid if she was wrong. She had no way of proving that it was Finn. The video cameras did not record in the back parking lot. </p><p>Finn must have known that or else he wouldn’t have risked it. </p><p>Unless it was not him. But why would he come to the firehouse to apologize unless he had an agenda? Cops never apologized for a bad call. Most were not their fault. Lexa did think that Finn had called them on purpose to keep her from seeing Clarke. It sounded insane, even to her own ears, but she believed it to be true. </p><p>She rubbed her eyes while laying down. It was almost eleven pm. Clarke had not texted her in a few hours. She would have called if it was not so late at night. She figured Clarke was asleep to prepare for her shift the next morning. If she called, Clarke might wake up.  </p><p>Lexa didn’t make the call despite wanting to hear her voice very badly. </p><p>She was physically tired, but her mind was racing. When sleep was impossible to find, Lexa stood from the bed. She found Lincoln lying in the sleeping chambers and scrolling through his phone again. </p><p>“So,” she whispered. “Congratulations.” </p><p>He looked over and smiled. His eyes twinkled. He looked happy. </p><p>“Thanks, Lex,” he said. “We aren’t supposed to tell anyone yet. She's only a few weeks along, but... technically, I didn’t tell you.” </p><p>“I won’t tell O,” she said, chuckling. </p><p>Lexa was thankful for him. She loved Lincoln like a brother. They were family as she was with everyone at the station. But she needed him extra tonight. The two had a special bond that she did not have with anyone else. Lincoln was the person she trusted most in the world. </p><p>Perhaps one day she will say the same thing about Clarke. </p><p>They chatted for a little while about the day. She asked how they found out about the baby. She was curious if the story was the same as Anya’s. A missed period. She doubted anything her sister did had a simple story behind it. </p><p><em> “Engine 81. Ambulance 61. Rescue squad to house fire. Victims still inside. Orphanage on Redden.” </em> </p><p>Lexa’s heart sunk in her chest. She ran on autopilot while getting ready and into the truck. Lincoln touched their knees together just enough for her to notice and she nodded once. </p><p>When they pulled up to the large house, Lexa stared at the third floor for a moment too long. The chief called her name to give orders. She went in with behind the men. Everything was ruined inside. The flames were licking up the walls. Kids screamed from every direction. </p><p>They carried out, at least, five kids each in the first few minutes of the rescue. Every man that could was inside searching the house for any survivors. Lexa ran up the stairs, to the third floor, and began checking rooms. Her old room was thankfully empty. </p><p>Costia’s old bed was up in flames. Her eyes lingered on it for a second. It was the last time she would ever see the place. It felt surreal. </p><p>The window where she jumped to her death was open wide. </p><p>Lexa pushed her feelings aside for now. She could deal with everything later. Right now, she had a job to do. </p><hr/><p>Clarke watched the scene unfolded from the waiting room. The news was covering the orphanage fire live. Their hospital was not on triage, but they stayed available just in case the other hospitals filled up. Kane called her in when the fire was reported for that reason. Once she heard about the fire on the police scanner, Clarke couldn’t sleep anyway. </p><p>The fire was bad. She watched a lot of them when they played the coverage live. This one stood out as unusually out of control. The orphanage was a big place. There was no possible way of saving the building. </p><p>She saw firefighters carry kids out of the building. Lexa was among them somewhere. The uniforms were the same. She could not tell the crew apart. Hopefully one day she would be able to. Or at least find Lexa among them. </p><p>She would have to find a way to deal with her anxiety when Lexa was at work.  </p><p>Clarke shoved her hands in her pockets as she watched the TV. </p><p>“Dude, you’re going to make yourself crazy,” Octavia said. She pulled Clarke back to the nurses' desk in the front of the emergency room. “Don’t sit there and watch. It makes time go by super slow.” </p><p>“How do you deal with it?” she asked. </p><p>Octavia chuckled. “You really want to know?” she asked. “I think about everything I'm going to do to him when he gets home. I actually follow through sometimes.” </p><p>Clarke laughed. “Must be how you got knocked up,” she said. </p><p>“How did you know? I mean, I figured you would find out but what gave it away?” </p><p>“Little things. You asked for lemon in your water today. You never do that. You've been moody and you have a sudden interest in yoga. I put two and two together about an hour ago. Congratulations, Octavia. That's awesome. You two will have the cutest kid in the world.” </p><hr/><p>Something creaked from above them. Lexa looked up and saw the ceiling start to fall. They only had a few minutes to leave before the entire place collapsed. There were no more screams. </p><p>“Fourth floor, clear,” Lexa said in the walkie. </p><p>“Copy. Second floor clear.” </p><p>“Exit.” </p><p>When the chief instructed them to leave, the crew was expected to be out in one minute and a half. If they were not, someone was sent in for a rescue mission. Taking longer meant someone was probably dead. </p><p>Lexa was halfway down the steps when she noticed something move through the flames. There was a survivor in the back bedroom. An adult. </p><p>Lexa recognized the woman through the soot covering her skin. The woman worked there when Lexa was growing up. An odd emotion filled Lexa’s chest.  </p><p>She held the woman over her shoulder and left the house. Raven put her on a gurney immediately. The woman was unconscious as far as Lexa could tell from across the street. She slipped off her mask and watched them load Lorelai into the ambo. </p><p>“Are you good, Lieutenant?” Murphy asked. </p><p>“Yes,” she said. “Everyone make it out, okay?” </p><p>“A few minor injuries. They think we got all the kids. They should be okay after a while. May spend a few weeks in the burn unit.” </p><p><em> At least they aren’t dead </em>, she thought. </p><p>Lexa looked up at the third-floor window again. The metal fence that impaled and killed Costia was still up. Lorelai had made sure it remained as a reminder to all the kids. She looked back at the woman, but the ambulance was gone. </p><p>The mood on the ride back to the station was somber. Some of the men left as soon as they got back. Others arrived. She went upstairs to shower and change clothes for the night. Carmen was sitting on the bench. She had been somewhere at the fire earlier but must have ridden with someone else to the scene. There were two ambulances here but 61 was the lead. Raven and Wick always drove 61. </p><p>“Are you okay?” she asked. </p><p>Lexa nodded and sat on the bench in front of her locker. She let her head fall forward against the metal. Her hair hid her face on either side. </p><p>“Just a weird day,” Lexa said. “And I can’t get my car fixed until morning.” </p><p>“I’ll give you a ride home.” </p><p>Lexa, in a very odd moment of delusion, thought Finn somehow planned this. He must have sent Carmen here on purpose and was now forcing them to spend time alone together. </p><p>But she had been awake for almost twelve hours. Finn would not be able to transfer a paramedic from another unit. He did not have that kind of power. </p><p>“That would be great actually,” Lexa said. She sighed and sat up again. “Thanks.” </p><p>Carmen looked over and smiled. “Yeah,” she said. “No problem.” </p><p>They showered, changed, and descended the stairs. The garage was alive with activity. Some of the men were cleaning the trucks and others were filling out paperwork on the nearby tables. They were all laughing and chatting while they had the time to relax. </p><p>“Lieutenant,” the chief called from the stairs on the other side of the garage. Those led to the offices including her own. “Come on up for a minute.” </p><p>Lincoln watched her as she walked past. One-on-one calls into the chief’s office were not typically a good thing, but Lexa was the exception. She and Jaha worked together to help their station. She was only a step below him in seniority at the firehouse. </p><p>One day she hoped to be the chief at station 16. </p><p>“Just a heads up,” he said as soon as the door was closed. “The victim at the scene did an interview with one of the reporters.” </p><p>“And?” she asked. </p><p>“It was very negative towards you.” </p><p>Lorelai. She must be the one slandering her on TV. Her only thought was Clarke finding out. She was scared that Clarke would think her words were true. </p><p>“She claims that your personal vendetta against her is the reason she was the last to leave the burning building,” he said. </p><p>“P-personal vendetta?” she asked. “I would never... she was last because we found her last.” </p><p>“Woods, listen,” he said. Jaha walked around the desk and sat on the front. He sighed and folded his hands in his lap. “She brought up someone during the interview. Someone who died at the orphanage years ago.” </p><p>Lexa rubbed her eyes. Her irritation with Finn and now Lorelai came to the surface. She took a deep breath before saying her name. “Costia,” she said. </p><p>“Yes,” he said. “That’s the name. Is there something I should know before people start looking into your background?” </p><p>“What do you mean?” </p><p>“She said that Costia died suspiciously and her death was never fully explained.” </p><p>“What?” </p><p>Lexa could not believe what she was hearing. Her ears were ringing. There was a stabbing pain behind her eyes. </p><p>“She... she committed suicide. I was there. I... I tried to save her.” </p><p>“I believe you, Lexa. Don't worry about what those reporters say. I'll make some calls to the police chief and see what he can do about them. I have some contacts in the city. Go get some rest, Woods. Good work out there tonight.” </p><p>“Thanks, chief.” </p><hr/><p><em> “The victim of the fire at the local orphanage had some words to say about station 16’s own Lieutenant Woods. She gave us a detailed recount of the events that transpired inside the burning orphanage. Does station 16 have secrets they are keeping from the public? Stay tuned for more of this story at six am.” </em> </p><p>The mounted TV played loudly at the police station. He was alone at his desk and waiting for the other cops to arrive in a few hours. Finn leaned back in his chair, put his feet on the desk, and smiled. </p><hr/><p>Clarke was busy with the overflow patients from the fire until dawn. They managed to move all five of the kids to the ICU before the sun came up. That was a good sign. They would only spend a few days in the ICU before moving to the burn unit. Memorial Hospital had the best burn unit in the city. </p><p>Octavia was leaning against the nurses’ station when she came down the hall. Harper and Jasper were chatting behind the desk. Octavia sighed when she saw Clarke stopped beside them. </p><p>“What a day,” she said. </p><p>“Yeah,” Clarke said. “I’m exhausted. Thanks to you, I didn’t get in a nap yesterday.” </p><p>“Prenatal yoga is great for the hips, Clarkie. Now that you have a girlfriend, you should get more flexible. It might come in <em> handy </em>.” </p><p>Clarke raised an eyebrow at her. She could not tell if Octavia knew they were a couple or was setting her up. </p><p>“Everyone knows,” Octavia said. </p><p>Harper giggled and Jasper looked genuinely happy for her. </p><p>“How?” she asked. </p><p>Jasper shrugged. “Heard it from someone,” he said.  </p><p>The news surprised her. She had not even told Octavia about their relationship yet. She knew they were hanging out but not official. </p><p>“Why was Finn here earlier?” Harper asked. “Don’t tell me he came to ask you out again.” </p><p>“Probably the fire,” Clarke said. “I didn’t see him. I was in surgery with Indra for a few hours.” </p><p>“He was probably talking to someone about what happened,” Octavia said, shrugging. </p><p>Finn was not a popular cop around the hospital. He tended to blame doctors and nurses for things they had no control over. It was the same with the station and even other cops.  </p><p>Sleeping with him was a huge mistake. </p><p>When they hooked up, Clarke was in a bad place. He seemed normal at first. She was fine with something casual, which they agreed was all it would be, but things changed after they had sex. He showed up at the hospital and stopped by her place unannounced. It was not the casual relationship she thought it would be. </p><p>But that was over a year ago. He was mostly harmless besides the offers of a date every few months. Finn hoped that she would change her mind one day. She did not believe him to be dangerous. He just wanted to be a cop and had all his life. </p><p>“You guys see the news today?” Indra asked.  </p><p>The three of them turned toward the TV. Harper grabbed the remote and turned up the volume. A picture of Lexa appeared on the screen. It was her academy picture. Clarke had never seen her in full guard before. </p><p><em> “Lieutenant Woods has refused to response to questioning about the suspicious death of </em><em>Costia </em><em>Winters. She was accused of murdering Ms. Winters at the age of fifteen. The charges were eventually dropped when sufficient evidence was not found linking her to the crime. Woods admitted to being at the scene when Ms. Winters died. The fire at the orphanage has brought a witness forward. Ms. Lorelai Tsing worked at the orphanage while Lieutenant Woods lived there. She said the lieutenant exhibited suspicious and odd behavior from a very young age. We'll update the story as it develops.” </em> </p><p>Clarke was speechless. The picture of Lexa left the screen and a familiar female reporter sat behind the news station desk. Commercials played as she stared at the screen in shock. </p><hr/><p>“Thanks for the ride, Carmen,” Lexa said.  </p><p>She climbed out of the car and closed the door. Carmen rolled down the driver’s window as Lexa crossed in front of the car to start for her apartment stairs. Her shoulders slumped. </p><p>“Lexa,” Carmen said. “Don’t worry about the news stuff. It'll pass. They're always making us out to be the evil ones.” </p><p>“I know,” she said. “I’m just ready for it to be over already.” </p><p>“Get some sleep, Woods.” </p><p>She watched Carmen’s car drive away from the curb before ascending the stairs. There was no way that Clarke did not see the story with the emergency room TV playing nonstop. She heard that some of the kids were transported to Memorial and the burn unit. Clarke was on call and would surely have been summoned for duty. </p><p>There were no texts or calls from Clarke when she checked her phone inside. Lexa made scrambled eggs but was too nauseous to eat. </p><p>She kept hearing the reporter’s words replay in her mind. <em> Costia </em>  <em> Wintes </em> <em> . Suspicious death. Coroner not able to rule the fall a suicide. Lexa Woods, an orphan.  </em> </p><p>Everyone in the city now knew that Lexa had grown up in an orphanage. She had tried so hard to keep her private life out of her career. She did not want anyone to treat her differently. At the firehouse, people gave her strange looks as she walked out that morning. They were already looking at her differently and that would only get worse. </p><p>Lexa grabbed the bottle of bourbon from her freezer. She poured a shot and lifted the glass.  </p><p>“I’m fucked,” she said aloud before drinking it. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Clarke took a deep breath and stared at Lexa’s apartment door. She knew the woman was home. She had texted Lincoln and made sure. Things had gotten out of control in less than ten hours. The news would not stop running the story about Lexa. The patient from the fire was interviewed multiple times while still in the hospital. Tsing was released a few hours ago. There was no telling how many times she had been contacted for more information. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She knocked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was rustling behind the door. Lexa opened it. Her eyes were red as if she had spent the last few hours crying. Clarke wondered if she had.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?” Lexa asked, sighing. “I thought you were on shift.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I asked to leave early,” she said. “I wanted to check on you.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa moved to the side. Clarke stepped into the apartment and shoved her hands in her scrub pockets. She did not take the time to change before leaving the hospital. She had a dreadful feeling about this.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You saw, I'm assuming?” she asked. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was bottle of liquor on the counter. It was half empty. She hoped the bottle was not new when Lexa opened it. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, I saw,” Clarke said. “And it doesn’t matter. They'll move on to something else by tomorrow, Lexa. Don't let some stupid reporter or that woman from the orphanage make you question yourself.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa chuckled. The sound was sad. She grabbed a glass with brown liquid that Clarke assuming was liquor and took a sip.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” she said quietly. “I’m not questioning myself, Clarke. That isn’t... that isn’t what this is about. Lorelai was there when I was growing up. She... she did things and...”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did she do?” Clarke asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa finished her drink. She grabbed the neck of the bottle. Clarke wrapped her hand around the woman’s wrist to stop her from pouring another.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Talk to me, Lex,” she said. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Tell me what’s going on.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s nothing. I don’t want you to worry about some stupid thing that doesn’t matter. You're right.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke wanted to ask a million questions. She wanted to know how that girl died all those years ago and how Lexa was involved. She wanted to know what happened inside that burning home last night.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead of asking any of the questions, Clarke kissed her. She held the back of Lexa’s neck so there was no space between them. She felt Lexa’s hands wrap around her legs and lift her on the counter. She could tell that Lexa was not drunk. If she was, Clarke would have stopped. She could barely taste the alcohol.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She wrapped her legs around Lexa’s waist and pulled her closer. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know,” Lexa whispered as she pulled back. </span>
  <span>“I’ve thought about kissing you since the day we met. </span>
  <span>I remember </span>
  <span>that day.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke smiled. “I do, too,” she said. “The teenage boy with the concussion. You came by when the fire was out to check on him.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes. Henry. That was his name. </span>
  <span>He added me on Facebook after that.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke laughed. She moved a strand of Lexa’s hair behind her ear. </span>
  <span>“You’re a good at what you do, Lex. No one </span>
  <span>is doubting that.</span>
  <span>”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>You aren’t. Everyone else in the world is. </span>
  <span>They </span>
  <span>only know one side and I’ll have to accept that. I’m not going to answer their questions or return those calls. I’m not, Clarke. I can’t.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You shouldn’t. You don’t owe them an explanation.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I feel like I owe you one.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke shook her head. She placed her hands on Lexa’s shoulders and squeezed gently. She massaged the woman’s neck and received a small groan of appreciation. Lexa was very tense from the stressful day. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t. I’m here </span>
  <span>whenever you need me. If you want to talk, that’s fine. But I’m not here to question you. </span>
  <span>You’ll tell me whatever you want in your own time. No pressure.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re too good to me, Clarke Griffin.” </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa smiled and the conversation stopped. Somehow, they ended up in Lexa’s bed.</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Lexa woke to the sound of a phone ringing. She reached over to shut off her alarm, but Clarke’s hand pushed her arm back down on the bed.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s mine,” Clarke whispered. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sun was not up yet. They had fallen asleep after sex last night while the sun was still out. Lexa had not kept a decent sleep schedule since starting on rescue squad twelve years ago. She learned that in the academy. She might never have a normal sleep schedule again.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have to go in,” Clarke said after reading the message. She sighed and let her head fall back on the pillow again. “A heart surgery.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I understand,” she said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s the good thing about us dating,” she said. “It isn’t just one of us with the shitty schedule. We both have them.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“True. But it still sucks that you have to leave this very warm and very comfortable bed.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m very sad about that, too.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke grabbed her shirt and slipped it on. Lexa stared at her bare back until the skin was covered. She thought about the night before. They had taken their time with each other, but the night was not long enough. They were exhausted from long shifts.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When am I going to see you again?” Lexa asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Depends on work, I guess,” she said. “I’ll text you and we can figure it out.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke was fully dressed when her own phone rang. She sighed as she sat up in bed.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Guess they needed me, too,” she said. “See you later, Clarke.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>They kissed before Clarke left.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa did not have time to shower with the emergency call coming in. She told Lincoln that she would meet him at the scene for a rescue and drive to the station behind the truck after. Jaha requested her presence since it was a dive. Lexa was the best diver on the squad.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>When she arrived, there was a large crowd gathered around the scene. The squad was suited up for the dive by time she reached them but had not went into the water yet. Lexa had a dreadful feeling as to why they were still on land.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Suspected body in the water,” Murphy said. “That woman over there said she saw someone fall in, but no one came up. You want to get suited up or send us in?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go ahead,” she said, nodding toward the edge of the bridge. “I’ll suit up and go in if you need me. Where's Jaha?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Headquarters.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lincoln gave her a look over Murphy’s shoulder. Her hands began to sweat.</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not sure what you’re implying, Sergeant,” Jaha said. “Are you accusing Lieutenant Woods of something?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not officially,” Bellamy said. “But we’re looking into what happened during that fire. I thought I would give you a heads up as a professional curtesy. We'll find out about anything that might have happened during the fire or... years ago. I suggest you get your own timeline together.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bellamy Blake was not someone that Jaha enjoyed working with. He was cocky and entitled. His father worked as the police commissioner for the city. Jaha suspected that Bellamy got the job for that reason alone. There were much better cops who deserved to be a </span>
  <span>sergeant</span>
  <span> for this force.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Bellamy called him an hour ago requesting his presence at an urgent meeting. Jaha had known what it would be about before he arrived. Everyone in the city seemed to be talking about Lieutenant Lexa Woods today.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I have nothing to ‘get together,’” he said. “I know exactly what happened and I fully trust Lieutenant Woods. She did nothing wrong that night or any night.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bellamy grabbed the folder on his desk and pointed it at the chief. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped himself. He took a deep breath.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I really hope you’re right, Jaha,” Bellamy said. “I have sources I'll be calling on. Have a good night.”</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>There was a knock on the door. Lexa sat up and rubbed her eyes. The station was finally quiet, so she figured she would catch some sleep while she had the chance. The body rescue from the river required an hour’s worth of paperwork.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Carmen said, pushing open the door. “Sorry. I didn’t think you had fallen asleep yet.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I hadn’t,” she said. “Everything okay?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. I just wanted to... all this shit going on. It sucks, right? I mean, people have been calling all of us and asking questions about what it's like to work with you. But I... I wanted to let you know that someone found out about us. Umm... sleeping together at the other station.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa rubbed her eyes hard enough to hurt. “Right,” she said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She had never been an overly emotional person. Perhaps that came from never forming healthy attachments to adults as a child or letting herself feel anything until she was almost twenty. But if she was an emotional person, Lexa could have cried.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They’re going to find out everything, aren’t they?” Lexa asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Probably,” she said softly. “I’m so sorry, Lexa. Seriously. This is crazy.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I should have known that Lorelai would do something like this when I saw her in that fire. I mean... do you want </span>
  <span>to know</span>
  <span> what I was just thinking about? What if I had left her in that fire to die?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Carmen sighed and leaned against the doorframe. “You wouldn’t do that, Lexa,” she said. “I know you. You live to help people.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not people like her.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Carmen closed the door behind herself and sat on the bed. There was a lot of space between them to keep from making things awkward, but Lexa somehow appreciated the company. She would rather have Clarke here right now though.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened when you were younger?” she asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She was about to adopt </span>
  <span>Costia</span>
  <span> when she died,” Lexa said. “Lorelai was. She thought of </span>
  <span>Costia</span>
  <span> as her own daughter. They had a weird relationship though and I told </span>
  <span>Costia</span>
  <span> that. Lorelai was a terrible person. She is a terrible person. Then... Cos told me she was gay. I guess she came to me because I was already out. I don’t know. Everyone hated me for it especially Lorelai. She didn’t want to be adopted if she was going to have to hide who she was. We... I loved her. I was fifteen and she was fourteen. We... loved each other, I guess. She jumped out of that window on her fifteenth birthday.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Carmen was silent for a long time. She released the breath she had been holding. “Shit,” she said. “I’m... I'm sorry.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me too,” she said. “I tried stopping her. I did everything I could but she... I’d never seen her like that. Something had happened that day. I never found out what.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t believe this is happening because of something from that long ago. I mean, you saved that woman’s life. She should be kissing your feet.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa chuckled. “Yeah, right. The day hell freezes over is when you’ll see Tsing thanking me for anything.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Someone shouted her name from the garage. One of the men complained when the shout woke him up, but she could not see who made the sound in the darkness. She ran down the stairs where there was a ton of commotion going on. Someone was dragging one of the hoses out of the garage and into the parking lot.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>In the back corner, Lexa’s car was on fire. She stared at the flames ripping through the air. The men ran through the other cars and hoses her SUV down. But the car was destroyed. The frame was bent from the heat. The interior was gone an everything was black.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was still frozen in place while they continued spraying it down in case any heat remained. The scene had only lasted a minute but felt like an eternity. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank goodness you park in the back every day,” Lincoln said. “Octavia would kill you if you were the reason our truck was ruined.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The words were obviously supposed to be a joke. She was in no mood to laugh. Her first thought was Finn Collins but now she was not sure. The media has gained her more enemies than she was aware of. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, Woods,” Murphy said, dropping the hose on the concrete. “I’ll find you a new car if you want. My cousin works for a dealer. He can get something from an auction for cheap.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” she said. Lexa did not take her eyes off the smoldering car. “Sure.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>As she walked through the garage, Lexa realized that everything started when her and Clarke’s relationship began. It was one hell of a coincidence. First the tires. Then Carmen’s arrival, the media, and now her ruined car. Lighting her car on fire was a slap in the face. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Someone was trying to ruin her life. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who do you think it was?” Lincoln asked when she got inside.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” she said. “I... it was probably just a freak accident.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lincoln raised an eyebrow in question, but she only shrugged. Lexa avoided everyone’s stares on her way to the weight room. A nice run on the treadmill and lifting session would help her focus. That's all she needed to do. She needed to focus on her job and Clarke and every other good thing in her life.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Costia</span>
  <span> was in her past. That was where she was going to stay.</span>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her mother’s name popped up on Clarke’s screen while she stood at the nurses’ station. The emergency room was calm for the first time in five hours. It was the perfect time for her mother to call. She was excited to hear Abby’s voice. </p><p>“Hi, mom,” she said. </p><p>“Hello, honey,” Abby said. “How is work going?” </p><p>“I haven’t had a surgery today,” she said. “So, good. Everything's going well. What about you? Is everything okay?” </p><p>“Yes. I just wanted to talk to you for a moment. Marcus and I are going on a weekend trip and I figured we wouldn’t talk much while I was gone. I miss you, Clarke.” </p><p>Her chest constricted.  </p><p>“Miss you too, mom. You'll have a good time. Marcus is excited. He was telling everyone about it today before he left.” </p><p>He was surprising her mother with a new wedding band. Marcus told Clarke earlier that day. She could see how oddly nervous he was. They were already married, so she found it humorous that he was worried about her reaction.  </p><p>The exchange with Marcus made her think of Lexa. Did she want to get married one day? Have a kid? Two kids? Clarke was not sure if she wanted kids. She was not sure if she wanted to get married. Of course, she imagined herself married one day but that felt forever away. She was in no rush. </p><p>“He’s silly,” Abby said, laughing. “You know how he gets when he’s excited about something.” </p><p>“You’ll have a great time,” Clarke said. </p><p>“He mentioned something tonight at dinner. That firefighter...” </p><p>Clarke sighed when she realized where this conversation was going. She was in no mood to talk to anyone about Lexa right now. Especially her mother. No one understood what the other woman was going through. Not even Clarke. </p><p>“Mom,” she warned. Clarke stepped away from the nurses behind the desk. “Don’t.” </p><p>“I’m just worried about you, honey. The news... they keep saying that she killed someone?” </p><p>This was not a great first impression. Clarke had imagined bringing Lexa for dinner and introducing her then. Instead, Lexa’s face was plastered on every news station with horrible claims against her. This was the last thing she wanted her mom to see about her brand-new girlfriend. </p><p>“She didn’t,” Clarke said. “Lexa didn’t kill anyone. They're lying. It's a long story and not one I think it any of your business.” </p><p>“Don’t get snappy with me, Clarke,” she said in her ‘mothering’ tone. “I’m looking out for your best interests. You're my daughter and that’s my job.” </p><p>“We weren't even going to tell anyone about us dating,” she said. “Someone must have told someone else but everyone’s talking about it here at the hospital. I don’t want a lecture. I'm not going to break up with her because people are making up lies for more views and money.” </p><p>“I’m not saying that you should break up with her right now,” she said. “I just think you should be careful. Her car got burned.” </p><p>“What?” </p><p>The nurses looked up from the computers and charts when she yelled. Clarke requested the news get turned off for the night, so they had not been watching for once. Lexa had not texted her all day. </p><p>“Mom, I have to go,” she said. “Have fun this weekend.” </p><p>Abby said something else. Clarke could not make out the words as her phone hit the end call button. Her hands were shaking as she pressed Lexa’s name in her contacts. What did Abby mean on the phone? </p><p>“Hello?” Lexa asked. “Clarke?” </p><p>“Yeah,” she said. Her voice was a little shaky with nerves. “What happened today?” </p><p>“What? Nothing happened, Clarke. We haven’t gotten a call all day.” </p><p>“Something did happen, Lexa. Something happened to your car?” </p><p>She heard Lexa sigh. There was movement on the other end of the phone like Lexa was walking. Lexa closed a door. She must be at work and wanting to get away from the other firefighters. </p><p>“It’s nothing, Clarke,” Lexa said softly. “Don’t worry about it. Some kind of freak accident thing.” </p><p>“Lex...” she said. </p><p>“It’s nothing.” </p><p>Her tone indicated that the conversation was over. Clarke did not want to push her over the edge since Lexa seemed close already. The past few days have been a whirlwind of emotion. She felt like neither of them had had a chance to catch their breath since deciding to date. They had only spent one night together and was interrupted with work. </p><p>Dread washed over her. What if this was always their life? Could Clarke handle it? </p><p>“Okay,” Clarke said. “I’ll let you get back to work then.” </p><p>“Sure,” she said. “Bye, Clarke.” </p><p>Clarke hung up without returning the sentiment. </p><hr/><p> </p><p></p><blockquote>
  <p><em> Lieutenant Woods of Station 16 Under Fire for Claims of Misconduct </em> </p>
  <p><em> By Maya Vie </em> </p>
  <p><em> Station 16 is a respected station in the city. Since the promotion of Chief Thelonious Jaha, the firehouse has run more efficiently than ever. But there seems to be a squeaky wheel amongst the crew. Lieutenant Lexa Woods, a veteran of the US Marine Corps Military Police, has been accused of misconduct by a victim of the fire at the Redden Street Orphanage two days ago. She was accused of purposefully  </em> <em> avoiding </em> <em>  the victim due to a past personal vendetta against the woman who works as a caretaker for the orphanage where Woods was raised. </em> </p>
  <p><em> After speaking with members of previous firehouses where Woods was stationed and current members of the station 16 team, we found many accusations that Woods was not the best for the job. She was allegedly in a lesbian relationship with a paramedic at the station she worked at before 16. The paramedic refused to comment. The paramedic has since been transferred to station 16 under  </em> <em> Lieutenant </em> <em>  Woods’ command for reasons unknown. </em> </p>
  <p><em> The caretaker from Redden Orphanage also informed us that Woods was seriously accused of murdering a teenager who also lived at the orphanage when she was fifteen years old. The victim of that crime was fourteen. The girl,  </em> <em> Costia </em> <em>  Winters, was pushed from a third-floor window and impaled by a metal fence. She died on impact. The police questioned Lexa Woods, then a teenager herself, but she denied any claims of wrongdoing. She claimed that she tried to save Ms., Winters from falling to her death. The caretaker fully disagrees. She had this to say: “Lexa Woods was a child of a teenage mother and always felt like she did not belong. When  </em> <em> Costia </em> <em>  was going to leave the orphanage for good, Lexa took this personally and killed her to keep from being abandoned.” </em> </p>
  <p><em> The lieutenant has denied all attempts of an interview to clear her name of these heinous crimes. </em> </p>
</blockquote><hr/><p>Lincoln slammed the newspaper down on the table. The room went silent when he slapped his hand against the paper as hard as he could. The sound shocked them. </p><p>“Who the hell is talking to the reporters?” he shouted. “Someone raise their hand and be a man! Someone told that reporter about Carmen. One of you is a snitch and I want to know who it is right now!” </p><p>“Lincoln,” Murphy said, putting his hand on the man’s shoulder to try and calm him. </p><p>Lincoln shook the hand off. “Don’t, John,” he said. “I want to know who it is right now.” </p><p>Everyone stared silently. Some messed with the bowl of soup in front of them on the table. People were generally scared of Lincoln because of his size and demeanor. The men of their unit were no exception. </p><p>Lexa pushed open the door a few moment later. Everyone looked up and stared. She immediately knew something was going on. She grabbed the newspaper from under Lincoln’s hand and scanned the words. </p><p>Carmen avoided her gaze when she looked up. </p><p>Lexa took a deep breath. She held onto the back of the chair as she faced her crew. “I did my job in that fire,” she said. “I was on the floor above Tsing. That floor had already been cleared when I came down the stairs.” </p><p>“She was on the fourth floor,” Lincoln said. His voice was still too loud. </p><p>“Linc,” she said softly. Lexa looked back at the other firefighters. Carmen was the only paramedic in the room right now. “And as far as the other stuff goes... I don’t feel that I have to defend myself. I didn’t kill Costia. Okay? Is that what you guys want to hear? Stop talking to reporters about shit you know nothing about. If you have a problem with me, come to me. Not the papers. Got it?” </p><p>Some of them nodded. Some even said ‘yes, ma’am.’ Lexa felt better. Her chest felt lighter. The damage to her car felt like a million years ago. She knew these guys. Maya Vie could have been lying about talking to the crew anyway. There was only one quote and it was Tsing’s. </p><p>Lexa sat at the table to eat. The chatter began after a few moments. She just wanted things to go back to normal. </p><hr/><p>“Jasper!” Clarke said as she rushed down the hall. She held a newspaper up as she approached the nurse. “What the hell is this?” </p><p>She shoved the newspaper at his chest. He did not have to look down to know what she was referring to. </p><p>“I had nothing to do with that,” Jasper said. “She’s just doing her job, Clarke.” </p><p>Clarke knew she was being unfair to Jasper. He was a sweet guy and never did anything to upset her like some of the others. She was upset by what the article said. Lexa dated someone whom she was now working with. She hated the phrase ‘lesbian relationship’ which implied that it was lesser than other relationships but that was another issue. </p><p>Lexa had not told her about this paramedic she used to date. That was bothering her. She was reacting out of anger. How had she only been dating Lexa for a few days when it felt like months? </p><p>“Yeah,” she said, quietly. “Sorry. You're right.” </p><p>Clarke was not sure if she had the right to be jealous or accuse her girlfriend of hiding something. Lexa had not lied. Not yet anyway. She kicked herself for thinking that way. Lexa was not a liar. Perhaps this was not as big of a deal as she previously thought. </p><p>She tossed the newspaper in the trash on her way out of the hospital. Clarke was going to go crazy if things continued like this. She needed answers. She drove straight to the firehouse still wearing her white coat and scrubs. </p><p>The garage was closed due to the hour of the day, so she had to be buzzed into the building. Chief Jaha found her first. He smiled as he walked down the hallway toward her. </p><p>“Dr. Griffin,” he teased. “Can I help you with something?” </p><p>“I’m looking for Lexa,” she said.  </p><p>The chief reminded her of Jake. She had not thought of her father this much in years. Being around the firehouse has brought his memory to the front of her mind. That was another thing that bothered her. </p><p>“She’s in the common room,” he said.  </p><p>She nodded and started down the hall. Clarke remembered summers spent here when she was young. The memories were glimpses but they remained with her. She wished her father was here right now to help. </p><p>Clarke, for some reason, had not been expecting anyone else to be in the common room. Lexa stood when she saw her enter and wrapped her hand around her wrist. They walked out of the room again but stayed by the door. </p><p>“Are you okay?” Lexa asked, concerned. </p><p>“Yes,” she said. “Why? Did you think something happened?” </p><p>Lexa was suddenly defensive. “What? Of course, not,” she said.  </p><p>“Are we not allowed to be seen together or something?” </p><p>Clarke looked into the common room through the window on the door. There was a gorgeous Latina woman staring at her. When they made eye contact, the woman looked away. </p><p><em> Carmen </em>. </p><p>“It’s just been a bad day, Clarke,” Lexa said. “It has nothing to do with you.” </p><p>“I, uh... I read that article about you,” she said. “Jasper’s girlfriend wrote it. Maya.” </p><p>Realization hit Lexa then. She glanced into the common room where Carmen was purposefully avoiding them now. </p><p>“I can’t deal with this right now,” Lexa said. “I’m sorry, but... I should get back inside and eat dinner before a call comes in.” </p><p>The words stung. She expected Lexa to apologize or, at least, explain why she had left out the fact that she was working with an ex. Clarke had never seen the woman on the job before, so she must have recently transferred. </p><p>This is exactly what Clarke feared the most about relationships. The sad and dreadful feeling in her chest was overpowering. This is exactly what she did not want in her life. She could not handle the stress of this while dealing with emergencies every day at the hospital.  </p><p>“Fine,” she said after a tense, silent moment passed between them. “I’ll go. Don't... don’t call me tonight. Don't call me tomorrow either. I think I need some time. Away from this.” </p><p>Clarke watched Lexa’s expression. As expected, the woman seemed to close herself off. This was common for children from the foster system. She felt guilty for profiling Lexa in that way, but she was so hurt. Lexa was not trying to make her feel better despite everything that was going on. </p><p>“Fine, Clarke,” Lexa said. “I won’t call you. If that’s what you want.” </p><p>Lexa's eyes were dark now. The playful twinkle Clarke saw the morning they woke up together was long gone. </p><p>“Okay,” Clarke whispered. She did not want to cry in front of anyone at the station. “Bye, Lexa.” </p><p>Lexa turned and went back inside the common room. Clarke felt nauseous as she walked to her car. She slammed her hand against the steering wheel. Everything inside her body was screaming to go back inside and apologize.  </p><p>But she did not. Clarke drove home in silence. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The atmosphere in Lexa’s apartment felt different that night. She fell on the couch and stayed there for a long time staring at the wall above the TV. She felt guilty and scared and sad. She should have told Clarke everything. She was scared that they were over because of it. But something was stopping her from calling Clarke and explaining. Maybe things were easier this way.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa sounded like a martyr. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Carmen had given her a ride home from work since she left the firehouse at the same time. Lexa needed to figure out a car situation if she planned on being on call. She could get rides for now but planned on finding a car that weekend. She did not like relying on others.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She took a bath instead of a shower. She sat in the water until it was cold. Instead of going to the bedroom, Lexa laid on the couch and closed her eyes. She did not want to be in her bed tonight. She did not want to smell Clarke’s lingering scent on the extra pillow. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa knew that it was Finn who slashed her tires. Was he crazy enough to start the fire though? She did not know. She knew next to nothing about the guy. The only things she knew about him was work-related or Clarke-related. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead of getting mad, Lexa cried. She cried for </span>
  <span>Costia</span>
  <span>. She cried for Clarke. She cried for herself. She cried and cried until she felt a little better. Releasing the sadness was cathartic. She only felt better physically once she was out of tears.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was two in the morning when she woke to the feeling of someone’s hand on her cheek. She knew who it was without opening her eyes. After all, Lexa had given her a key. She turned her face and kissed Clarke’s palm.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you asleep on the couch, sweetheart?” Clarke whispered.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa’s eyes fluttered open to look up at her. With the blonde hair and distortion from deep sleep, Clarke looked exactly like an angel.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t want to sleep in my bed alone,” she admitted. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Will you come lay with me in the bed then?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded and started to sit up. Clarke helped her. She wrapped her arms around Lexa’s neck and held her for a long moment.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Clarke whispered.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I’m sorry,” she said. “I should have told you about Carmen. I don’t... I don’t care about her like that. I promise, Clarke. She transferred here last week. I had no idea. She didn’t choose the transfer.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay. Let's go lay down, Lex.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Relief filled her entire body as they laid down in Lexa’s bed. She laid her head on the woman’s chest and wrapped an arm around her waist. Lexa’s fingers moved up and down her back. The motion was soothing. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I slept with Finn like a year ago,” Clarke whispered. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” she said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eventually, Lexa’s hand stilled when she fell asleep. Clarke kissed her chest and shoulder. She pulled back to look at her face. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everything else faded away for the night. </span>
  <span>.</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>The firehouse was scheduled to host a 10k in hopes of raising money for Memorial’s burn unit. They needed new equipment in case of a catastrophic event in the city and they had more than ten patients at a time. There was not another burn unit for ten miles. By the time an ambulance arrived, the victim could be dead from their injuries.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Station 16 volunteered to host the run. In order to host, they needed permits from the city and police officers to volunteer their time to run security. They needed someone to block off the streets.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lincoln walked into the station and waved off the receptionist who asked him to sign in. She nodded in recognition and waved him through. The cops were sitting at their cubicles when he entered the main room. Some looked up and nodded. Some gave him strange looks.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was Finn and Bellamy who stood to meet him in the middle of the room. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Octavia and Bellamy were not particularly close as brothers and sisters go. Most of their relationship happened at work. Their mother died when Octavia was a young teenager. Instead of raising her, Bellamy put the job off on their aunt and uncle. Octavia never forgave him for forcing her out of their home. Bellamy did not want to give up anything to raise his sister. He had already graduated </span>
  <span>high school and was old enough to legally take care of Octavia. But he had decided to give her up and she never forgave him because of it.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing in our neck of the woods, Green?” Bellamy asked. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m here to sign off on the permits and get the list of volunteers,” he said. “Chief </span>
  <span>Jaha</span>
  <span> said he can email his signatures by the end of the day.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bellamy nodded and started toward his desk. “This for the new wing at Memorial?” he asked. “The expanded burn unit?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yep. Dr. Griffin and Dr. Kane sent over the blueprints and everything looks good.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>At the mention of Clarke’s name, Finn stepped into the conversation. Lincoln had forgotten that he was there.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m running point on Saturday,” Finn said. “The doctors will be there, right? For injuries and stuff?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, the paramedics are on duty for that.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lincoln noticed him frown. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knew of the cop’s crush on Clarke because of Octavia. He hung around the hospital much too often and lingered when victim interviews were over. It was not abnormal for cops, firefighters, and paramedics to hang around the hospital. Lincoln considered many of the doctors and nurses friends, but Finn was not friendly to anyone at Memorial other than Clarke. He understood how someone could be in love with Clarke. She was soft but tough, and good at her job. But Clarke did not return the crush. She was dating his best friend, Lexa. That made him defensive of the blonde doctor.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you guys ever figure out what started that fire in the parking lot?” Bellamy asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The question was too random for Lincoln not to notice.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” he said. “Lexa called it an accident. I mean, someone is obviously trying to mess with her. I've spoken to the chief and we’re trying to get footage of the night from nearby businesses. No luck yet.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is an accident a possibility?” Finn asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No way,” he replied. “The flames engulfed the car too quickly to be an accident. If it had been, only the front would have been on fire by the time we got outside. Plus, most of the heat came from inside the cab and not the engine. Someone probably threw a Molotov cocktail inside the open window.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe,” Finn said. “But can you blame them? I mean, I'm not condoning the act but those stories on the news...”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The words were barely out of the cop’s mouth before Lincoln was in his face. Bellamy stepped between them and put his hands on both their chests. Lincoln was four or five inches taller than Finn and could easily win a fight. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Finn stared down the firefighter with venom in his gaze and no fear.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know as well as I do how those reporters are,” Lincoln said. “They make up lies. She's been through enough, Collins.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Cry me a river, Green,” he said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lincoln made a lunge but was stopped by another cop holding his arms behind his back. No one was holding Finn back, he noticed.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Get off me,” Lincoln said as he pushed the cops off him. “I’m leaving. Figure out who is doing this, Blake.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The cops let him go and started to push him toward the door. He stopped when Finn said his name.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Word of advice,” Finn said. “Tell Woods to close the window next time.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span> Lincoln had never wanted to punch someone more than he wanted to punch Finn Collins. He spent the entire drive imagining how it would feet. His fist connecting with Collins’ stupid face... </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was unfair of Finn to blame Lexa for what happened to her car when it was clearly an attack. She had refused to file a police report. Lincoln was not entirely sure why. He had a strange feeling that she knew her attacker was. It seemed unlikely that Lexa would allow someone to threaten her like that without doing anything about it.</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Lexa stared at the screen. She had requested the footage be sent to her work email instead of going to the store and thankfully the manager agreed. Lexa promised to buy him a case of beer for the security footage behind his building. The store was next to the station.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her car could barely be seen in the corner of the screen. Of course, the security cameras were focused on the parking lot behind that building but she could see the passenger side of her car. The passenger side was where the bottle had been thrown. She was stupid for leaving the window down, but nothing like this had ever happened before.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The person came into view but wore a black jacket and hood. It would be impossible to see who had thrown it with those clothes on. As expected, the person did not turn or give any clue away.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa could see similarities to Finn Collins but could not be certain. She could probably picture anyone under those </span>
  <span>clothes</span>
  <span> and make it work.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>It did look like him though.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa debated going to the police station and filing a report after it happened. Her insurance would probably cover some of the new car if they had a copy of the report. The stipend from the damage would do little to cover a monthly payment for a new one. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Finn would find out about the report and could do something worse. She decided to buy a used car and claim the fire happened for another reason. Any other reason. If the reporters found out that someone was attacking her, Lexa would get more time in the papers and on TV than she had now.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa just wanted things to go back to normal. She closed her phone and deleted the footage. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her phone dinged with a message as soon as she sat the thing down. Lexa checked the screen and smiled when she saw a message from Clarke. She had arrived in front of her </span>
  <span>apartment</span>
  <span> building to give her a ride to the race that morning. The hospital was only a block from the booth where the runners would line to start.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Lexa said as she climbed into the passenger’s seat. “Thanks for giving me a ride. I'm getting a new car in a few days.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t mind,” she said with a smile. Clarke kissed her. “That’s a definite perk.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two had not spoken much since the night they spent together a few days ago. They awoke the next morning and ate breakfast together before Clarke left for work. It was a nice morning. One of the best mornings Lexa had ever experienced. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>During the drive, Clarke reached over to hold her hand. It made Lexa feel like a teenager. No one had ever held her hand like that. She did not want Clarke to know. It might make Clarke pity her or something. She had not dated anyone seriously before Clarke. She had never dated anyone worthy of holding hands in the car. Before Clarke, she thoughts those types of overly emotional acts were silly.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Clarke’s hand in her own felt good. Right. It was strange but perfect at the same time.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke parked in the hospital parking garage. Lexa grabbed her bag from the backseat and tossed it over her shoulder before following her girlfriend inside the building. Some nurses waved at them. Octavia would be arriving later to help with injuries from the race. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See you after the race,” Clarke said when they got to the ambulance bay.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lincoln’s going to drive me to the station afterward,” she said. “I’m on duty for sixteen hours after.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay. I'll try to come see you then. Maybe I can bring dinner or something.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you aren’t careful, all the guys are going to be jealous of me. Someone might try to steal you from me.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And for the right price, they could.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa rolled her eyes as she chuckled. Clarke kissed her once.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See you later, Lex,” she said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The street was alive with activity when Lexa arrived at the booth where runners and volunteers were signing in. The race was set to start in ten minutes. Lexa was not running in this one since she promised to work at one of the booths this year instead.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She thought about Clarke as she found her spot. Lincoln was sitting in a chair behind one of the tables.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You still good to give me a ride to the station?” Lexa asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course,” he said. “We can grab food on the way.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Clarke might be bringing me </span>
  <span>something,</span>
  <span> but you can get whatever. What are we supposed to be doing here anyway?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Making sure no one gets hurt basically. I hope your phone is fully charged. You'll be doing a lot of scrolling for the next few hours.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>They watched people walk past their booth and toward the front to prepare for the race.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How is O doing?” Lexa asked. “With the baby and stuff?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, she’s happy. She wants me to start setting up the baby room already. She wants the walls repainted and everything. I'll probably do that this weekend.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll help. I’ll come by on Saturday and we can knock it out.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks. She'll be happy to see you. She’s always talking about you and Clarke. Honestly, it’s obnoxious.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa knew he was joking. His words made her cheeks warm.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The gun went off, signaling the beginning of the race, which made them jump. Some people ran by.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to ask you something,” Lexa said. “But it stays between us. Got it?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I got it,” he said. “O won’t find out that you asked. Shoot.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think it’s possible that... someone we know burned my car?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She saw him take a deep breath and nod. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” he said. “I’m glad you’re finally admitting that it wasn’t an accident. Do you have someone in </span>
  <span>mind?</span>
  <span>”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” she lied. “Just asking.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lincoln nodded and watched the runners pass. After five minutes, the street in front of them was empty. She took out her phone and opened her social media app to pass the time.</span>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>trigger warnings: abuse</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Babe, I don’t think they’ll care whether or not there’s a dish in the sink,” Lincoln said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Octavia gave him a death stare over the back of the couch. She pointed a knife at him which was only mildly threatening. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do the dishes like I said,” she said. “This is the first time Lexa is coming over and I want the place to look nice. Please, Linc.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He groaned and stood. “Fine,” he said. “I’m surprised Lexa agreed to have dinner here. She's always said no when I asked.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s up with that anyway?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lincoln started to load the dishwasher as his girlfriend requested. He never thought much about it before. When he asked her over, it was usually for a game she wanted to watch. Lexa always had an excuse to stay home instead. He figured she liked being at home.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But, as he thought more about it, Lincoln began to think that her aversion to coming over had more to do with eating than spending time with him. She never ate the food they had delivered at the station. She brought her own food every day. Every so often, the chief would pay for a meal to be delivered to the station and she avoided it.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “Maybe she has food allergies or something?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck,” she said, slamming her hand on the counter. Octavia looked at the food she made. “What if she can’t eat any of this? How are you friends with her for years and not know anything about her?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve never asked,” he said, defensively. “I didn’t think about it.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How can you not think about it, Lincoln?” she asked. “That seems like something you would notice and ask about.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We don’t talk like that. We usually talk about work and stuff.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Isn’t she your best friend?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess. We just aren’t like that, I guess.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Octavia groaned and continued cutting the vegetables for the salad. “Do you have to be such a guy all the time?” she asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s offensive, O. Sexist, even.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She rolled her eyes but smiled. Lincoln wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed the side of her head. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Octavia suggested the dinner with Clarke and Lexa, he was positive the four of them would not be able to get off work to make it happen. They were able to the weekend after the race. Lexa changed her schedule since she was the only one who would not be able to make it. The chief allowed the change.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Octavia was putting lettuce in a bowl when the doorbell rang. She sighed and quicky finished mixing everything.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I got it, babe,” he said, kissing her head again. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke stood on the doorstep when he opened the door. She smiled. “Hey,” she said. “Lexa’s going to come in a little while. Something happened at work or something.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah?” he asked, surprised. Lincoln wondered what could have happened that required her to come in for a little while. He knew she was not scheduled for a shift tonight. “Sorry, yeah. Come in.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Clarke!” Octavia called from the kitchen. She smiled but it fell when she saw that her friend was alone. “Where’s Lexa?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Something came up at work,” Lincoln said. “I’m going to call and make sure everything’s okay.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stepped out on the </span>
  <span>back porch</span>
  <span> while the girls finished dinner. Octavia was excitedly about the nursery. He and Lexa planned on painting it the next day. She had picked out a light grey color.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The phone rang three times before Lexa picked up. “Hey,” she said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened at the station?” he asked. “You need me to come in and help with something?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no,” she said. “It’s nothing important. I'll be there in, like, half an hour. You guys go ahead and eat. I'll be there in a bit.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You sure?” he asked. “We can wait for you.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s fine. Promise. I'm not hungry anyway.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he walked back into the house, the women were in the living room. Clarke had a glass of wine in her hand. They were laughing about something. He was not surprised that Octavia was right. There was something weird about Lexa and food.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lexa said we can eat without her,” he said. “She’ll be here in a few minutes.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Octavia gave him a look before nodding. “Okay,” she said. “Let’s eat.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>They took their time eating. Octavia was an excellent cook. Her aunt owned a restaurant and taught her how to cook while she lived there. Though she only stayed with her aunt and uncle for five years, she took to the skill easily. Lincoln was a terrible chef. He could work the grill since Octavia did not like to, but that was all.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is wonderful, O,” Clarke said in the middle of dinner.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Octavia smiled. “Thank you,” she said. “I wish Lexa was here though. I love that you two are dating. It's the perfect scenario. We can double date all the time now.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“True,” she said. “It’s perfect. They can do whatever stuff they do together, and we can hang out. What do you and Lexa do together anyway?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Lincoln asked. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When you hang out.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They don’t,” Octavia said. “Not outside of work anyway.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not true,” he said. “She’s coming over tomorrow to help me with the painting, isn’t she?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke watched their exchange. She could see there was something they were not saying. She wondered if they had fought before she arrived.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Never mind,” she said. “Doesn’t matter. I was just curious.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Octavia grinned tightly. “I wish they hung out more,” she said. “I like Lexa. He talks about her all the time. Maybe if she came around, he would leave me alone more often.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>They laughed.</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Clarke and Octavia were in the house while he and Lexa sat on the back porch later that night. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So,” he said. “What happened tonight?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She looked over and shrugged. “Forgot to sign something yesterday,” she said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really? You never forget stuff like that.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She shrugged. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lincoln took a deep breath. He wanted to forget Octavia’s words from earlier, but she was right. Lexa was his best friend, and it was weird that they could not talk about things. Or they did not. They talked about everything. But this was different, he knew.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you... did you really go to the station earlier?” he asked. “Because... I could ask one of the guys tomorrow if they saw you there. Not that I'm... accusing you of lying.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He saw her shoulders stiffen. She had lied.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t... I did stop by the station,” she said. “I forgot something in my locker.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is there something you want to ask me, Lincoln? Because it definitely sounds like you </span>
  <em>
    <span>are </span>
  </em>
  <span>accusing me of something.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The conversation was not going the way he thought it would. This was the exact reason he and Lexa did not talk about stuff like this. He had no idea how to navigate this type of thing.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Look...” he said. Lincoln took a deep breath. “Do you have a food allergy or something? Because we can make whatever you want the next time you come over.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>They were silent for a long time. The two did not dare look at each other. The moment was tense. He opened his mouth to speak but Lexa beat him to it.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not allergic to anything that I know of. I was... I prefer to make my own food, okay? I don’t like... I don’t like eating something that I didn’t watch being made.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The door slid open and Octavia stepped outside. Clarke followed. She took the seat next to Lexa. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I told you she wasn’t allergic to anything, Octavia,” he said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa sighed and rubbed her eyes. It was something she did when she was frustrated, he knew, and he realized he should not have said that. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you talking about?” Clarke asked. “Allergic to what?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone on the </span>
  <span>back porch</span>
  <span> felt the tension. Lexa’s cheeks burned as she chewed on the inside of them. Clarke kept looking between her and Lincoln. The night was chilly, but Lexa could not feel anything. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Food,” she finally said. “I don’t eat things that someone else made. That’s why I was late tonight. I went to the station to change out my clothes because I did not want to come to dinner.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?” Octavia asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa expected her to be upset about the lie, but her tone was soft. She was only curious. Clarke stared at the side of her face as she waited for an answer.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I, uh...” she started. Lexa cleared her throat as she stared at her hands. “I was eight when someone offered to foster me. I had been at the orphanage since birth. It was weird being in a house when I had grown up in the home with everyone else. I had my own bedroom.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The atmosphere had drastically changed, and Lexa dreaded the conversation.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The guy,” she said. “He had some fetish that... he would watch me eat and then throw up. I guess he put something in the food to make me sick. I never knew when he would do it.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa wanted to be anywhere else. She could feel their stares on her face.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How did you... leave?” Clarke asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I ran away after school one day,” she said. “I went back to the orphanage and told Lorelai what was going on. She didn’t believe me. They had already given my bed away to a new girl. She made me go back. I stayed there for about six months, I guess, until my teacher called child services. I had lost some weight and she was worried.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lincoln could only stare at the trees in his backyard. The thought of someone hurting a child in that way, especially Lexa, was physically painful. He wanted to kill the guy who did it. Things made more sense now and he was grateful that Octavia was nosy. This was something Lexa might not have shared with him ever. Clarke had not known either by her surprised and horrified expression.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knew Lexa well enough to know that she did not want them to pity her. She always acted as though her childhood was normal while it was the complete opposite. She pretended like there was no lingering effects from the abuse she suffered.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I would never...” Octavia said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lincoln shook his head at her before speaking, “Next time, we can go to your place. You can cook.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa smiled at him, gratefully. “Sounds good,” she said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knew his best friend </span>
  <span>well</span>
  <span>.</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Clarke parked in front of Lexa’s apartment building and climbed out of the car. They arrived at the same time since they came from Lincoln and Octavia’s. Lexa unlocked the front door and held it open for her. The started up the stairs to the third floor.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What ended up happening to that guy?” Clarke asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The cops arrested him, and I was sent back,” she said. “He was fined and unable to take in more kids.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s it? He didn’t go to jail or anything?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope. I guess it wasn’t considered a sex abuse crime because he never did anything to me physically. He would just...”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, Lex.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa stopped. She did not want to tell Clarke. She wished no one knew. Now that it was out, Lexa was scared that they would look at her differently. She was not the poor orphan she used to be. She was so much more than that. She made sure that she overcame every single obstacle. Anyone looking at her would see the youngest </span>
  <span>lieutenant</span>
  <span> in station 16’s history. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa had worked her ass off to get where she was now. None of the stuff from her past mattered.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m going to take a shower before bed,” Lexa said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I join you?” she asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa looked back at the woman as she pushed open her apartment door. Clarke raised a playful eyebrow in question. The tension eased. Lexa’s insecurity and fear faded a bit. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course,” she said. “I would love that.”</span>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>reminder: this is a fictional story and is supposed to be very dramatic. it will have a happy ending but these characters are quite complex and i want to explore them. anyway, i hope you are enjoying it so far xxx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Incoming!” </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke ran out of her office down the hall and toward the emergency room when she heard someone shout. Raven was straddling a man on a gurney and performing CPR on him as Wick pushed them inside.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“His heart stopped on the way here,” she said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was Mick. Clarke's heart ached as she watched Raven try to revive the man. He did not look good. He was a regular at the hospital because it was close to the homeless center where he ate and sometimes slept.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What happened?” Clarke asked, following them into an empty room.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He was at the park and </span>
  <span>collapsed</span>
  <span>, so someone called 911,” Wick said. “Maybe a heart attack?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Raven and Wick left the room as the nurses entered. Someone called a code blue over the intercom. She was soon joined by other doctors to help </span>
  <span>resuscitate</span>
  <span> Mick. Clarke tried to restart his </span>
  <span>heart,</span>
  <span> but nothing worked. They shocked him three times before calling time of death.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke looked at him once more before leaving the room and allowing the nurses inside.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She angrily pulled off her gloves and threw them in the trash. Mick was a nice guy. He did not deserve to die that way. No one did.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Clarke,” Harper said. “I know you liked him.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” she said, sighing. “I did.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Raven handed over the chart. Jasper tossed the clipboard behind the desk. Things were always somber when they lost a patient. Things were bound to happen sometimes since this was the trauma unit but that did not make the emotions less difficult to deal with.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m tired,” Clarke said. She wanted to talk about something. Anything. “I didn’t sleep much last night.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Spent the night with a hot firefighter, did we?” Harper asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Actually, she spent the night with me,” she said. “Lexa got off later than I did, so she came to my apartment instead.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And how was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>getting off </span>
  </em>
  <span>part?” she asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke chuckled. “We didn’t have sex,” she said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why not?” </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because it was two am and she had worked a twenty-four-hour shift. Not exactly sexy when one of us falls asleep during.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harper laughed. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Things had calmed down around the two of them since the news stopped running Lexa’s story every few days. She no longer worried that someone would start asking questions about her girlfriend in hopes of a juicy story. Lexa was less stressed, too. They tried to spend time together a few days a week, just the two of them, which helped them take their minds off work and focus solely on each other.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The past two weeks had been successful in that department. Lexa worked longer shifts than Clarke did but had more hours off between shifts. Lexa was typically at the station for twenty-four hours.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke wanted to learn more about Lexa’s </span>
  <span>past,</span>
  <span> but she seemed hesitant to talk about it. That was understandable. Since finding out about some of the abuse she suffered, Lexa was more willing to share details. But not much.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She thought about Lexa a lot throughout the day. Minor things like what she was doing then or how she was feeling. They texted a few times throughout the day and talked on the phone when they both had time. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke Griffin, for the first time in her life, had no doubts or dread in a romantic relationship. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can I help you, ma’am?” Octavia asked. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke looked over when she heard her friend and fellow doctor speak. A heavily pregnant woman stood in the doorway. The </span>
  <span>woman</span>
  <span> looked familiar. She could not figure out where she knew her from.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t know where else to go,” the woman said. She looked down at the wet spot between her legs. Her water had already broken. “I think it’s coming.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The maternity ward was called. A doctor came down to the emergency wing. Clarke followed the man into the room and </span>
  <span>put on</span>
  <span> gloves.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s your name?” she asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Anya,” she said. “I need... I need someone to call my sister.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’ll call,” the maternity doctor said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He started the ultrasound machine to check on the baby. Clarke could see that something was wrong as soon as the baby came on the screen. The doctor shut it down.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The baby’s in distress,” he said. “We need to get her upstairs right now to deliver.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>As they wheeled her from the room, Clarke followed to the door. “What’s your sister’s name?” she asked. “I’ll call her.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lexa,” she said. “Lexa Woods.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The doors swung shut as Clarke stood there in shock. That was where she knew the woman from. Lexa’s apartment.</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>The fire was mostly out by the time Lexa exited the building. Kitchen fires were sometimes easy to control. This was one of them. She was grateful for the break because she barely got any sleep the night before. Chief Jaha had her fill out paperwork that she had forgotten about. Then, Lexa had to make sure the trucks were clean and ready for their next call. She let some of the crew go home early and worked alone in the garage.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She took off the face mask and breathed in the fresh air. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Woods, you got a call at the station,” Monty said in the walkie.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go ahead,” she said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s the hospital. They need you to get </span>
  <span>there</span>
  <span> ASAP.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her heart skipped a beat. “Is Clarke okay?” she asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s your sister. She’s having the baby.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa had not forgotten about the pregnancy. She had more pressing things to worry about, but she was thinking of Anya in the back of her mind. She knew the woman was not capable to care for a newborn. Anya had a more severe form of attachment disorder than Lexa did. They both suffered long term affects from their childhood.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She did her best not to let that get in the way of her life. Anya was different. She was less aware of the damage her disorder caused in her present life. She could not properly raise a child. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Lexa did not want the baby to go into the foster system either. Perhaps if Anya had found a family to adopt the baby, Lexa would feel less guilty.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m on my way,” Lexa said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was given a ride to the hospital by Raven and Wick in the ambulance. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Want me to go in with you, Woods?” Raven asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She chuckled. “No, Reyes,” Lexa said. “Don't try and get out of clean up duty at the scene.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wick chuckled as he closed the door. Lexa was sure she heard the paramedic curse her name.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The hospital was quiet when she walked through the emergency doors. She looked around for someone familiar but there was no one. Lexa took the elevator up to another floor.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>When she got to the maternity ward, doctors and nurses were walking the halls. Things were calmer here than they were on any given day in the trauma wing. She heard screaming but no one even glanced toward the sound. It was normal here.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Excuse me,” she said to the nearest nurse. “I’m looking for Anya Winter. Um... I'm her sister.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right,” she said. “Give me one second. I'll send someone out to get you. Have a seat for a moment.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa could not sit with the adrenaline coursing through her body. She paced the floor of the waiting room. There was no one else sitting around. Five minutes passed before Clarke came into view. She smiled.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s been asking for you,” Clarke said. “I promised I would stay with her until you arrived. She's in room four.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you,” she said. “How is everything going?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>They walked to the room together and stopped outside the door. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’ll be ready to push soon, I think,” Clarke said. “She told me she’s found a family.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” she asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa's chest constricted in pain. She thought she would feel better knowing that someone would be there to take care of the baby. But she felt worse.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought you knew she was giving the baby up,” she said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. I did know. Thanks for staying with her. I should go make sure that everything is okay.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure. I'll be around if you need me.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa kissed her. She surprised herself with the kiss. Lexa figured everyone in the hospital knew they were together, but it somehow felt unprofessional while Clarke was at work. But when she pulled back, Clarke was smiling. Lexa was relieved.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anya looked away from the TV when she entered the room. Her sweaty hair was pushed back. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Finally,” Anya said. “I was wondering where you were.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry,” she said, dragging a chair closer to the bed. “I was at a scene. A fire downtown. It was nothing major, but I got here as soon as I could. I'm surprised you stayed in town. I thought you’d be out of state by now.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anya shrugged. “I started to think about what you said,” she said. “About giving the baby up. I talked to someone with an agency. They helped find some couples that want a kid. I flipped through a binder.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are they like? What are their jobs?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know. It's an unmarried woman. Probably something good. She's strong, I’m sure.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sure you want to give the baby up? You still have time to change your mind.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anya sighed and laid her head back on the pillow. She stared at her sister for a long moment. The air between them was tense.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m positive that I can’t and don’t want to raise this baby, Lexa,” she said. “I never wanted kids. You know that. I'm happy to give someone else that chance.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa looked down at her stomach beneath the blanket. She thought about the life the kid inside there would have. What would she become? With supportive parents, she could be anything. Lexa had a feeling that she would be successful no matter what. She would overcome the reasons she was created. Her sister and a drug dealer... This kid would know nothing about them.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you in pain?” Lexa asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope. Can’t feel a thing from the shoulders down. You could probably stab me without a flinch.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She chuckled and the tension eased a little bit. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The doctors came in to take her back for the birth. Lexa followed them down the hall. The nausea returned as they prepared to deliver Anya’s daughter. Even in her brain, Lexa had a hard time believing the baby was really coming today.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t leave me alone,” Anya begged as she reached for Lexa’s hand.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Never,” she said. “I promise.”</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Clarke found her girlfriend standing in front of a large glass window in the maternity ward. Behind the glass were newborn babies. Lexa smiled when she felt Clarke’s hand on her back. They both watched the babies sleep.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s her,” Lexa said, pointing to one of the bassinets in the second row.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s gorgeous,” she said. “Have you heard anything else about the adoption?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She shook her head. “Not yet,” she said. “Anya said that the agency is sending a representative later this afternoon.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke noticed that Lexa’s eyes never left the baby. She was swaddled in a blanket, sleeping. Her heart broke a little. The way she was staring at the newborn girl told Clarke everything she needed to know.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s seven pounds,” Lexa said. “Doesn’t she look fragile? The nurses were throwing her around and everything. It was crazy.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you considered adopting her?” Clarke asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa scoffed and folded her arms tight across her chest. “I can’t,” she said. “I don’t have the time with work. Anya said the family she picked has money to give her what she needs. I don’t. I can’t, Clarke.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was only asking, Lexa,” she said. “But... if you decided to try... I could help, you know. I could watch her when I’m off and...”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No. I can’t, Clarke. The baby needs two parents who don’t have the hectic jobs that we do. It's okay. I'm not upset about it.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke could see the lie on her face and in her voice. She loved that baby. Clarke had a feeling that Lexa was going to react poorly to the adoption. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m going to check on Anya,” Lexa said. “Do you want to come?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I'll give you two some alone time. Call me if you need me.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks, Clarke. See you later.”</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Lexa knocked on the door but heard no response. She pushed it open. The bed was empty. There was a notecard on the pillow where Anya laid. She unfolded it and read the words.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m sorry that I had to leave you again. Thank you for helping me through the birth. I won’t be around for a while. Also... know I found the perfect person to raise that baby. You'll be the best mom to her. I’ve signed away my rights. The paperwork is on the table by the window. I love you.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She read the note three times before the words sunk in. Anya was gone. She left the baby in the hospital. She wanted Lexa to raise her. Lexa was going to be a mother.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>A nurse stepped into the room.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you bring the baby here, please?” she asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The nurse nodded. “Of course,” she said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was wrapped in a blanket when the nurse pushed the bassinet into the room. Lexa stared down at the baby for a very long time. It was unfair of Anya to leave without a word and without knowing </span>
  <span>whether</span>
  <span> Lexa wanted to raise the baby on her own.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But staring at her face answer every question in Lexa’s head. She wanted this baby. She had wanted her since she found out Anya was giving her up.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are we going to name you, little one?” Lexa whispered. “You need a strong name.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She carefully lifted the baby and held her in both arms. Her heart felt like it could explode any second.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the time Clarke came into the room, the baby was asleep in her arms. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s gone,” Lexa said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I heard from Eric,” she said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa assumed that was the name of a nurse on the floor. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Have you picked out a name yet?” Clarke asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve just been calling her baby,” she admitted. “What do you think she looks like?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What about Hope?” she asked. “I’ve been thinking about this since I found out. Hope Alexandria Woods is a very nice name.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t name her after myself,” she said, laughing softly.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, you can. I’m going to call her Alex. Just so you know.”</span>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lexa had a blanket over the baby carrier as she carried the baby into the firehouse garage. Alex had been asleep since she was put in the carrier. The only time she seemed to be happy was in someone’s arms or in the carrier. Lexa was happy to hold her but had a million things to do now that she was a mom. Her life had changed drastically in the three weeks since Alex was born.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She and Clarke spent most of their time together feeding, bathing, and changing diapers. They had not spent a moment alone since the day in the hospital. Lexa felt guilty. She felt like Clarke had been thrown into motherhood without a choice. If she wanted to continue a relationship with Clarke, this was going to be their life. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>As exhausted and stressed as she was, Lexa had never been happier. She found herself staring at Alex all the time. Lexa was aware that all parents thought their baby was </span>
  <span>perfect,</span>
  <span> but she knew Alex was. Her soft sounds were the most precious things she had ever heard.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa sat the carrier on the table in the common room. Murphy looked up from his place on the couch in front of the TV.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s working here now?” he asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Clarke’s going to pick her up on the way home from work,” Lexa said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right. You want me to, like... hold her or something?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>John Murphy had always pretended to not be fond of children. His tone changed when Alex started coming around the station. He was always willing to hold her or feed her if Lexa was busy. Alex did not spend much time at the firehouse. She only brought the baby when Clarke was working. Chief Jaha had been flexible with her schedule since she did not get maternity leave. He allowed her a week off when she was first born to get used to being a parent. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa smiled as she laid the baby in Murphy’s arms. “Thanks, Murph,” she said. “Do you mind if I do some work while she’s with you? Clarke should be here at any moment.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No problem,” he said. “Go do whatever you need </span>
  <span>Lieutenant</span>
  <span>.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa went up to her office. She signed a few papers Jaha put on her desk. The thought of taking a nap sounded heavenly, but she could not leave Murphy in charge of Alex. Anything could happen in thirty minutes. She had not slept more than a few hours since Alex was born. Her brain felt like mush most of the time.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Knock, knock,” Lincoln said from the doorway.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” she said. “Come in.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How are you doing? You didn’t answer my text last night.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh. Sorry. I must have opened it and forgot. Remind me what it said.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Octavia wants to come over and meet the baby. She was thinking we could watch her. Give you some time alone and give us some practice.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa chuckled. “You don’t need practice. Trust me. But, yeah, if you all want, I could bring her over this weekend when we’re both off duty.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You should take Clarke out on a date,” he said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa raised an eyebrow. “Did Octavia say this?” she teased.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, Clarke did.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her hand stalled. She replayed his words in her head. A </span>
  <span>white-hot</span>
  <span> flash of heat bloomed in her stomach and chest.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Clarke said that?” she asked. “When? To you and Octavia?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lincoln was suddenly nervous. He knew he messed up. But Lexa was adamant to find out what Clarke had really said. She did not like that her three friends were discussing her in secret.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, uh... no, she just... O mentioned... to me,” he stammered.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What exactly did Octavia say, Lincoln?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lincoln sighed. “We were talking last night about the baby, and she said that Clarke mentioned you two had never been on a date. Like outside of one of your houses. I don’t know exactly. I was watching hockey and she started talking about it.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>It seemed like a simple solution to solve. Lincoln and Octavia could watch the baby while she took Clarke on a date. But the fact that Clarke was upset enough about it to talk to Octavia upset her for some reason. She could not quite put her finger on the problem it caused mentally.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, I can take her out while you and O watch Alex then,” she said, staring down at the paper on her desk.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Lexa,</span>
  <span> don’t get upset about it,” he said. “I don’t think she meant it in a bad way or anything. I think they were talking about dates and... it just came up.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Right. Sure.”</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Octavia looked down at her phone when it vibrated. It was a text from Lincoln.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Accidentally told Lexa what Clarke said about the date.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She groaned and rolled her eyes. “Men,” Octavia mumbled. She typed out a reply and sent it.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Good work, Linc. I'll let Clarke know.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>His </span>
  <span>response</span>
  <span> was immediate.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>She's going to be mad at me!!</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Probably </span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke was in room four, taking patient vitals, when she found her. The blonde looked up when she entered the room. The patient was asleep, </span>
  <span>medically</span>
  <span>, and would be for </span>
  <span>a while</span>
  <span>. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So... listen,” Octavia said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh no,” she said. “I know that tone.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I fucked up. I told Lincoln what you said to me yesterday about not going on a date with Lexa and he told her what I said.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke sighed. Her eyes closed for a moment and shoulders dropped.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why did you tell him what I said?” she asked, annoyed.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I tell him everything.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good to know.”</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Lexa was still in her office when her name was called over the intercom. She had managed to catch up on most paperwork. That was the worst part of her job, but it was the safest.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She descended the stairs into the garage and entered the common room. Clarke was holding the baby. Murphy was watching as if he were jealous. Lexa figured he might be.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” she said. “Thanks for taking her tonight.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course,” Clarke said with a smile down at Alex. “I was thinking that I should get a bassinet for my house, so we can stay there sometimes.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure. I'll get one sent to your place.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can do that, Lex. Don't worry about it.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa felt more tense than she normally did around Clarke. She walked with Clarke out to her car and held buckle the baby carrier into the backseat.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lincoln offered to watch Alex this weekend,” Lexa said. “We could go out on a real date.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“About that...” she said. Clarke closed the car door and leaned against it. “I was only... talking to her. It wasn’t like I was complaining about... anything.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>It felt like Clarke was complaining about her. The thought worried Lexa because their relationship was so new, and the added strain of a newborn did not help their chances of lasting. She wanted the two of them to last for a very long time. Maybe forever. Things seemed so hard right now.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” she said. “I’ve never taken you out on a nice date. I should do that as your girlfriend.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not saying no to a date,” she said. “I’m just apologizing. I shouldn’t have said anything. I was stressed about work and...”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Clarke, it’s fine. Thanks for coming to get her. I'll be there tomorrow to pick her up. I'll make reservations somewhere for the weekend.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke nodded. “Okay,” she said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa kissed her on the cheek and leaned over the backseat to kiss Alex’s head. “See you tomorrow,” she whispered. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Despite the exhaustion, it was painful to be away from her baby. She had expected to be relieved when she got a moment to </span>
  <span>herself,</span>
  <span> but the anxiety made her even more tired than staying awake.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See you tomorrow, Clarke,” she said. “Thanks again.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa started back toward the firehouse. Clarke was about to stop her and ask for a real kiss when the woman stopped walking. Her car was parked a few spaces away from Clarke’s. She looked down and saw that all four tires were slashed.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was so exhausted and emotionally unstable that she stared at the deflated tires for a moment before continuing through the parking lot and inside the building. She would have to deal with that problem tomorrow.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He did it again,” Lexa said as she walked past Lincoln. “Can you drive me to the police station tomorrow?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re going to file a report finally?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No. I'm going to tell Finn that he better </span>
  <span>stop</span>
  <span> fucking with me or I'm going to kick his ass.”</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>They managed to sleep that night. Lexa woke every few hours despite the silence like muscle memory. She awoke at dawn and spent an hour running on the treadmill. After a night of sleep, her mind was clearer. She had been upset that Clarke talked negatively about her with their friends. But Clarke did so much for her and Alex. She had no right to be upset.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa had no proof that it was Finn who ruined her tires either time. Even though the news had stopped putting her name in the papers, people were still upset with her. She had received a few hateful and accusatory emails. Even though she felt in her gut that it was Finn, she had nothing to validate the claim. She was getting tired of having car issues. It was worse now that she had a kid. Not having a car was </span>
  <span>very</span>
  <span> inconvenient with a baby.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She called a towing company and asked if they could tow her car, replace the wheels, and return it by the end of the day. She received a vague answer in response. After hanging up, she did not feel better.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The alarm startled the quiet station. Everyone jumped out of bed and rushed toward the garage as Monty’s voice came over the speaker.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Engine 81. Ambulance 61. Fire on North Helm and Twelfth. Possibly spreading to other homes nearby. Police en route.”</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa climbed into the truck behind Murphy and held her helmet in her lap as Jaha drove them to the scene. The house was fully engulfed by the time they piled out of the truck. Lexa directed them into positions and made her way inside.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was someone unconscious on the floor in the kitchen. Lincoln carried her out of the house on his shoulder. Lexa ran up the stairs to clear the floor before they could begin spraying the house with water to prevent the spread.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fire department! Call out!” she shouted into the bedroom.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>A child screamed from underneath the bed. This was not the first time a child had been dangerously close to the flames, but it was the closest call she had experienced since Alex was born. She called the little boy out of the home and into the arms of his awaiting father. The paramedics began to check him over as Lexa went back inside.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Second floor is clear,” Murphy said into the walkie.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Exit,” Jaha said. “Everyone is out.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>They left the home. The other men began hosing the building down. As she watched them, Lexa thought about Alex and Clarke.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The second she got back to the station, she sent Clarke a text.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I miss you. Can't wait to see you both later and give you a bunch of kisses.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Clarke held the baby as they walked up the porch stairs. Octavia was not off work yet but would be before they left Alex. Lexa had no qualms about leaving the baby with Lincoln. It was Clarke who seemed weary.  </p>
<p>Although Lincoln would kill someone over that baby, Lexa could admit that he knew little about actual care. He did not know how many ounces to make or what size diaper she wore. That would take experience. Lexa knew that by the time his own child was born, Lincoln would be an expert. He loved Alex. She could tell by the way he looked at her. Everyone loved that baby. </p>
<p>“Octavia will be here in ten minutes,” he said as they sat on the couch.  </p>
<p>“No problem,” Lexa said. “Our reservations aren’t until eight.” </p>
<p>She looked down at her watch. It was only six thirty. They had planned on staying around their house for a minute to give them some instructions. Lexa was in no hurry to sit down at the restaurant and eat. Even though she admitted her problem to Clarke, it did not make anything better. She was glad that Clarke was aware of her anxieties though. It was humiliating. </p>
<p>“Crazy about your tires, huh?” he asked. </p>
<p>“Yeah,” she said. “Crazy.” </p>
<p>“How does someone hit a pothole that hard?” Clarke asked. “I mean, I've hit my fair share of curbs, so I have no room to talk.” </p>
<p>“Pothole?” Lincoln asked, confused. </p>
<p>Lexa gave him a warning glare. She shook her head slightly. </p>
<p>“Oh, right,” he said. </p>
<p>Lexa felt guilty for lying to Clarke. She had never lied to her before and never wanted to. But the thought of someone harassing her would bother Clarke. She would worry when she did not need to. Lexa felt like she was doing the right thing even though it was a lie. </p>
<p>Alex whined in the carrier. Clarke got her out and laid her in Lincoln arms. Watching him with the baby made Lexa’s heart ache in the best way. Having a baby had changed her relationship with everyone. </p>
<p>“Sorry I’m late,” Octavia said as she came into the house. She tossed her jacket on the chair and plopped down beside Lincoln. Her stomach was still small and unnoticeable to anyone who did not know she was pregnant.  </p>
<p>“You’re not late,” Clarke said. “We don’t have to leave for a while.” </p>
<p>“No, no,” she said. “You two go and enjoy each other for a while. Me and Linc need to practice anyway. We'll have our own soon enough. I need to get Lincoln good at this before he comes.” </p>
<p>“He?” Lexa asked. “Do you know the gender yet?” </p>
<p>“We aren’t finding out, but I have a feeling that he’s a boy.” </p>
<p>Lexa remembered feeling the same way when she saw Alex on the ultrasound screen for the first time. She had a premonition of a little girl running through a backyard. She thought about taking her niece out for Halloween and buying her Christmas gifts. Lexa was happy that her realty was even better. </p>
<p>“Do you want to leave?” Lexa asked, putting her hand on the small of Clarke’s back.  </p>
<p>“If you want to,” she said. </p>
<p>“I do. Al will be fine.” </p>
<p>“Don’t call her Al, Lexa.” </p>
<p>This made everyone laugh. Alex began to cry. She and Clarke reached out to her out of instinct. Octavia slapped their hands away.  </p>
<p>“Goodbye, Clarke,” she said. “Goodbye, Lexa.” </p>
<p>They walked out of the house together. Lexa opened the passenger door for her girlfriend. She smiled as she climbed into the car. As they drove through the city, Clarke placed her hand on Lexa’s thigh.  </p>
<p>“I almost called her our daughter earlier,” Clarke said.  </p>
<p>“Isn’t she?” she asked. “I mean... you were there when she was born. You've been there with me from the beginning.” </p>
<p>She could feel Clarke’s eyes on the side of her face. It made her blush. </p>
<p>“Unless you think that’s weird...” Lexa said. “I just... I’ve thought about her as our daughter, too. Sometimes I even... when you’re not there once, I called you her mom. I was talking to her about you.” </p>
<p>“That’s sweet, baby. I don’t think it’s weird at all. I want that.” </p>
<p>She lifted Clarke’s hand to her mouth and kissed the back of it. “I do, too,” she said. “She’s changed things between us. In a good way, I mean. But she has changed things.” </p>
<p>“I agree. How are you feeling about going out for dinner?” </p>
<p>Lexa had pushed her feelings about dinner away. The fear came back as soon as she words were spoken aloud. She was going to have to eat something prepared in a kitchen that she could not see. The food was going to arrive already prepared and she was going to have to eat it. </p>
<p>“I feel fine,” Lexa lied.  </p>
<p>“You’ll tell me if that changes, right?” she asked. “We can go back to mine and make something together if you prefer.” </p>
<p>“No. I want to go. I want to... be normal.” </p>
<p>“Normal is overrated, darling.” </p>
<p>Lexa appreciated her trying to help. If things got too bad, Lexa would have to admit that she could not handle it. She had no intention of doing that. </p>
<hr/>
<p>The menu alone was overwhelming. Lexa chewed on the inside of her cheek as she stared at the words on the page. Nothing seemed to make sense. Her anxiety was causing confusion. She had researched food anxieties on the internet, but nothing seemed to fit her exact anxiety about eating. She just preferred to cook her own food. That did not seem like such a terrible or weird thing. </p>
<p>Lexa looked up to take a break from thinking about food. Her eyes landed on a man a few tables down. His hair was also short and black... </p>
<p><em> “Here you go, Lexa,” her new foster dad said. </em> </p>
<p><em> She smiled up at him. This food looked so much better than the soup and mush she ate at the orphanage before coming here. He was nice. He gave her a room. She did not have to share with stinky Patricia anymore or mean Harley who liked hitting her sometimes. </em> </p>
<p><em> “Thank you,” she said with a smile. She wiggled her tongue in the open spot where she lost a tooth a few weeks ago. “Thanks.” </em> </p>
<p><em> “You’re welcome,” he said.  </em> </p>
<p><em> Instead of making his own plate, he sat and watched her eat. She stared out of the kitchen window as she did and watched a man walking his dog. She wanted a dog. She saw them on TV all the time. The kids with dogs seemed so happy. They were always smiling. Lexa wanted to be that happy. She wondered if she was going to be happy now that she had a dad. </em> </p>
<p><em> She was lying in bed, after playing with the one doll she owned, when her stomach began to hurt. It happened quickly. Her vision went blurry and she was throwing up off the side of the bed before she could run to the bathroom. She felt guilty for messing up the carpet. She was going to be in trouble. </em> </p>
<p><em> Through the tears in her eyes, she could see her foster dad standing in the doorway. His pants were down. She threw up again. </em> </p>
<p>“Lexa,” Clarke said. “Lexa, are you okay?” </p>
<p>“What?” she asked. It took all her strength to forget the memory. She had not thought about it for a very long time, but she had never tried to eat at a restaurant before. “I’m fine. Sorry.” </p>
<p>“You’re not fine,” she said. “Let’s leave, sweetheart. Please. We can make something at home while they watch Alex.” </p>
<p>They were in the car before Lexa realized what was happening. Clarke must have led her through the parking lot and put her in the passenger seat. She felt like a child. </p>
<p>“What about spaghetti?” Clarke asked. “I have everything we need at home.” </p>
<p>“Fine,” she said, staring out of the window. She watched the city lights flash by.  </p>
<p>Lexa could picture the man’s face with complete clarity. He appeared in her dreams when she had a particularly bad day or when she was in a self-deprecating mood. She had felt nauseous since the memory replayed in her head at the table. </p>
<p>“I’m not crazy,” Lexa said. </p>
<p>“I know,” she said. “You aren’t crazy. Not at all.” </p>
<p>“I’m not. I'm just... tired or something.” </p>
<p>“It’s okay. Maybe you could try therapy. Your insurance will cover it.” </p>
<p>Lexa did not say another word on the way home. She followed Clarke up the stairs to her apartment and went straight to the fridge. She put a pot of water on the stove to boil the pasta. Clarke was probably hungry. She felt guilty for making her wait even longer to eat. </p>
<p>As she cooked, Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa’s waist. She laid her cheek against her upper back. They swayed slightly. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Clarke said. “I shouldn’t have pushed you like that.” </p>
<p>“You didn’t push me at all. I wanted to try it. I’m just not ready. I mean... I'm thirty-three, Clarke. I don’t think I'll ever be if I'm not ready now. I was eight when it happened.” </p>
<p>“You can’t predict the future, my love.” </p>
<p>Clarke seemed to realize what she said a few moments after the words left her mouth. Lexa’s hand stalled as she stirred the sauce. She debated ignoring the words but knew Clarke would be embarrassed if she did. Plus, Lexa had been thinking about it for a few days now. </p>
<p>“I love you, too,” Lexa said. </p>
<hr/>
<p>“Do you think Octavia is going to be mad?” Clarke asked. She giggled against Lexa’s side as they lay in her bed. “I mean, they did tell us to take our time.” </p>
<p>Lexa ran her hand down her girlfriend’s naked chest. “Maybe this isn’t what they meant,” she teased. </p>
<p>“Or maybe this is <em> exactly  </em>what she meant.” </p>
<p>“Knowing them... that’s a possibility.” </p>
<p>They had made love twice. Lexa had not eaten once the food was prepared. Clarke seemed to understand. She did not say a word about it. The guilt had passed. For the first time in weeks, Lexa was not thinking about Alex or something she needed to do for Alex. She was solely focused on Clarke. </p>
<p>“I need to tell you something,” Lexa said. She took a deep breath. </p>
<p>“What?” she asked, nervously. “Are you sick? Is Alex okay?” </p>
<p>“Yes, honey. We’re fine. But... I didn’t hit a pothole the other day. Someone slashed my tires.” </p>
<p>“What?!” </p>
<p>Clarke sat up quickly. Her knees were on either side of Lexa’s hips. The view was amazing from beneath her. She was completely in love with and attracted to Clarke Griffin. She had never felt this way with anyone before. </p>
<p>“It’s okay,” Lexa said. “It isn’t a big deal. Just someone being an asshole.” </p>
<p>“Lexa, we have a baby. You can’t have someone slashing your tires all the time.” </p>
<p>Lexa sat up a little and kissed her softly. She pulled Clarke back down so they could continue their alone time before leaving to pick up Alex. </p>
<hr/>
<p>Clarke was at work a few days later when she remembered their conversation. Octavia was off for the day and watching Alex. She was thankful to have such an amazing family. Her mother wanted to meet Lexa and Alex as soon as they could get time off work. Abby was excited about the prospect of being a grandmother. She wanted to babysit. </p>
<p>But Clarke needed to make sure her girls were safe. </p>
<p>She went down to the police station during her lunch hour. The receptionist waved her back without a thought. Bellamy was sitting at his desk in the back. She hated relying on his help and wondered how Lexa would feel if she knew Clarke was here right now. There was a reason Clarke had not asked before coming. </p>
<p>“Bell,” she said. “Hey. You got a minute?” </p>
<p>“Hey, Clarke,” he said. “Sure. What do you need?” </p>
<p>“Someone’s been harassing Lexa. They slashed her tires a few days ago. Do you think you could... I don’t know. Look into it?” </p>
<p>“I’m not really sure what I can do. She's racked up some enemies so it could have been anyone.” </p>
<p>“Please, Bell. I'm begging you.” </p>
<p>He sighed.  </p>
<p>“Fine. I'll see what I can find out, okay?” </p>
<p>“Thank you, Bellamy. I just want to make sure someone doesn’t do something worse. With Alex and all.” </p>
<p>“Sure. I get it.” </p>
<p>Finn was nowhere to be found. Clarke was grateful for that. His crush on her was annoying. She should not have had sex with him at all. He never seemed to let it go. He was not a bad person but an annoying one. </p>
<p>When she returned to the hospital, the paramedics were wheeling a trauma victim inside the building. She forgot about everything for the time being and focused on saving her patient. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>if i was to start a new fic, what would you like to see? xx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>angsty chapter ahead</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Bellamy stepped into the emergency room through the sliding double doors. He had not been inside the hospital in over a year. Finn volunteered to cover for him when they had to interview a witness because of his obsession with Clarke Griffin. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Personally, he thought the blonde doctor was hot. She was a good person. Anyone would be lucky to date Clarke. But that person was not Finn. Bellamy had worked with him long enough to know that Finn was bad news.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two had worked together for a few years. Since Bellamy’s promotion, Finn was jealous. He wanted the promotion. Everyone at the station knew Finn was only in the job for a job in homicide. He did not want to go through the rings all cops did on their way up. He wanted to be promoted to the job without working for it. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you doing here?” </span>
  <span>Octavia</span>
  <span> asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need to talk to you,” he said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bellamy did not blame her for not wanting to talk to him. Their relationship was tense, to say the least.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t worry, little sis,” he said. “I’m not here to take up your whole day. I know </span>
  <span>you’re</span>
  <span> busy.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She stared at him intensely with her arms crossed. After a minute of the glare, she led him into the break room. She sat on the couch.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is it?” she asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need your help with something,” he said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Octavia scoffed. For a moment, Bellamy thought she was going to leave. He did not deserve any help from her after what he did when they were younger. But he was just starting at the academy and could not care for Octavia the way she needed. He felt guilty for what he did, but she turned out well considering.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you need?” she asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need help proving that Finn is behind the attacks on Lieutenant Woods,” he said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What? Finn is... how do you know?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s taken me a few days to put it together, but I have a few reasons to believe that it’s him. Her apartment was broken into this morning.”</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Clarke was in a surgery all morning. A kid with a ruptured liver came into the ER at three in the morning. She did not leave the OR until ten am. When she walked out of the room, she was immediately ambushed by Octavia. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I need to talk to you,” she said. Her movements were chaotic. There was something wrong. Octavia pulled her into an empty exam room. “Lexa’s apartment was broken into this morning. Bellamy was just here. He told me.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The words did not sound like English. It took a few moments for them to sink in. “What?” she asked, angrily. “Oh my god. Lexa... and Alex! Octavia, where is the baby?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Clarke, Alex is at your mom’s,” she said. Octavia put her hands on the woman’s shoulders. “Take a deep breath. Lexa was at work. No one was inside when it happened.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t understand. What did Bellamy say?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s sit down. I’ll tell you exactly what he told me.”</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Lexa stood in front of her busted door for a very long time. She stared into the remains of her apartment. One of Alex’s baby blankets lay in the middle of the floor. She stared at the little blue ducks outlining the fabric. Someone had thrown it on the ground while searching her apartment. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nothing was missing from the living room. There was a TV that had not been touched. Two twenty-dollar bills were lying on the counter that she meant to give Clarke for buying diapers and formula. The money was still there.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>This was not a robbery.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The cops pushed past her to take pictures of the scene. She grabbed the blanket before anyone could touch it. The fact that someone touched her baby’s stuff bothered her more than anything. Someone had gone through the nursery. A mysterious person had touched some of the toys her daughter played with the night before.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re checking the cameras in your building,” a cop said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She nodded, distracted, and fingered the baby blanket. “Okay,” she said. Lexa knew they wouldn't find anything. The cameras had not worked properly in over a year. She knew that because the landlord sent out a notice when they realized there was a problem.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But she was in no mood to help the police. Lexa was positive that Finn had something to do with the robbery. She did not know why or how yet.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa packed a bag of clothes for herself and Alex. She was reaching into the closet for her button-down shirt when she noticed a stray lid lying on the ground. She knew the box it belonged to. She scrambled for the other half of the box that was lying under a pile of clothes. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her heart sunk in her chest when she noticed there was something missing from the top. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Costia’s</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span> suicide note.</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa did not tell anyone. She was not sure if she should have. Instead, she closed the box of old pictures and trinkets and pushed it to the back of her closet once more. She carried the bag past the police and down the stairs. They could handle things however they saw fit.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa was not sure who to trust anymore.</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Clarke left the hospital and drove straight to her mom’s house. She knocked. She found herself nervous while waiting for someone to open the door. Abby was holding the sleeping baby when she did. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” she said, stepping inside. Clarke smiled down at Alex and reached out for her. “There’s my girl.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Abby reluctantly handed the baby over and smiled. “She’s an angel,” she whispered. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know she is. How did she sleep?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A few hours here and there. Woke up when she was hungry. Is everything okay? Why are you home so early? I thought your shift wasn’t over for another three or four hours.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke did not know where to start. She felt so overwhelmed and scared. She started to cry as she stared down at the baby. Lexa had not answered the phone when she called during the drive. The last text she received from her girlfriend was that she was headed to the apartment to check the place out.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Someone broke into Lexa’s apartment this morning,” Clarke said. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god, Clarke,” she said. “What happened?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know anything yet. Octavia told me at the hospital. Bellamy came by and he thinks another cop is targeting her. It’s a long story.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Does it have anything to do with what they said about her on the news?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Abby put her hand on Clarke’s back and rubbed gently. She used to do the same thing when she was young and had a stomachache. It made her feel better somehow. Seeing Alex’s chest move up and down with every breath helped too.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why don’t you two stay here?” Abby asked. “We have the extra rooms. Marcus even bought a crib today. He was going to put it together tonight.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He did?” she asked, surprised. “That’s... that’s really nice of him.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s good with her.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Alex slept in the bassinet while Clarke sat at the table and pushed food around the plate. Abby had insisted she try to eat something. She had not eaten since before the surgery that morning. The food made her nauseous. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The baby began to cry when the doorbell rang. Clarke rushed to open it and threw her arms around Lexa’s neck. She kissed her cheek.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You scared me,” Clarke whispered. “You didn’t answer your phone.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” she said, wrapping an arm around her waist. “I was... I must have put it on silent.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The crying stopped when Abby took her from the bassinet and left them alone to talk.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s going on?” Clarke asked. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can we go somewhere? Your old room or something?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She led Lexa up the stairs. She sat on her old bed and pat the spot beside her. Lexa sat. </span>
  <span>She nervously twisted her hands in her lap. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke reached over and laid her hand on her girlfriend’s leg. “O told me that Bell thinks it was Finn,” she said. “I had no idea that he was capable of something like this.” </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think it was him, Clarke,” she said. </span>
  <span>“I think he messed with my tires but… I don’t think he broke into my apartment.” </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why not?” </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa took a deep breath. She </span>
  <span>sniffled like she was holding back tears and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. She stared down at her lap. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’s something I never told you,” Lexa said. “About Costia. About the day she died.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke</span>
  <span> swallowed thickly. She could tell this was something bad. Something huge.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, well... whatever it is we can-” she said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Lexa said. “She left me a note. She didn’t want to leave. Lorelai Tsing wanted to adopt her. You know the woman from the hospital? She... she wanted to... I'm sorry. Everything is out of control and I need to go talk to someone. Can you stay here and watch Alex? I'll be back later tonight. Don't leave the house.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa stood. Clarke tried to stop her from leaving with a hand around her wrist, but she shook it off. She almost let Lexa go. She heard her girlfriend rushing down the stairs. She said something to Abby on her </span>
  <span>way out</span>
  <span> the door.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke ran after her. She put a hand up to her mom, asking her to wait, and closed the front door behind them.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You have to tell me something, Lexa,” Clarke said angrily. “You can’t just leave me here with your baby and not tell me what the hell is going on.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa froze in the driveway. “My baby?” she asked. “She’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>my baby now?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tell me what’s going on,” she said again. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you mind watching </span>
  <em>
    <span>my baby</span>
  </em>
  <span> for a little bit longer? I'll be by to pick her up in a few hours. You'll be off the hook.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her heart was pounding in her chest as she watched Lexa leave.</span>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lexa knocked on the apartment door. The sound was loud in the empty hallway. Someone opened and closed their door before the sound of footsteps could be heard on the stairs. She glanced back and saw someone walking through the parking lot. Just someone leaving. No threat to her.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lexa?” Carmen asked. “What </span>
  <span>are</span>
  <span> you doing here?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why did you transfer to my station?” she asked. “You lied to me before. You put in a transfer request. I looked it up earlier.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The woman sighed and stepped out of the doorway. She motioned for Lexa to come in. They stood in the kitchen and stared at each other for a while. Lexa was exhausted, emotionally and mentally. Her body felt as though she could run a marathon. She was ready to punch someone. Carmen, most likely.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I never meant for any of this to happen, Lexa,” she finally said. “I didn’t want to transfer. I... my mom got diagnosed with breast cancer last year. The medical bills were insane. He told me he could get me off the hook. Mom wouldn’t have to pay anything back. All I had to do was put in a transfer.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who?” she asked.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Finn Collins.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa rubber her eyes. They ached. She wanted to curl up in bed and cry. She had not felt that urge in a very long time. After the fight with Clarke and this conversation, Lexa just wanted to quit.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So... you did,” she said. “What happened after that?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I transferred to your station,” she said. “He came to me after a few weeks and asked if there was anything going on between us. I said no. You were dating someone. He got mad and left.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Someone broke into my apartment today and stole the note </span>
  <span>Costia</span>
  <span> left me. Did you know that?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Carmen seemed genuinely surprised. She shook her head.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I had nothing to do with that, Lexa,” Carmen said. “I would never...”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re the only one who knew about the note,” she said. “Remember? I told you about the note years ago. Did you tell anyone about it?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sighed. “I didn’t... I didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” Carmen said. “I only... I just wanted my mom to live.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I understand. Who did you tell?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Carmen was close to tears. She was shaking her head. The mug in her hands was shaking, too. Lexa wanted to grab her shoulders and force Carmen to say everything. But that would not help them. Carmen was not the one who broke into her apartment. She was not a bad person.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She came to me after the fire,” Carmen said. “Someone told her about us, I guess. She asked me if you had said anything to anyone. I told her no. I told her that you didn’t want it to get out either. That you wanted to move on. And... she kept pushing me and making all these threats and I just... I said that no one would believe you unless they found the note. She had no idea the note existed before then.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There was a reason for that, Carmen,” Lexa said. “Cos never wanted anyone to find out.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry. She kept saying that someone was going to hurt my mom. I believed her. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but I couldn’t risk anything happening to her.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The worst part about the betrayal was that Lexa understood it. She did not want anything bad to happen to Carmen’s mom either. She knew how close they were. Carmen talked to her every day and saw her often.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa stared at her ex for a moment before nodding. “Thank you for telling me the truth,” she said. “I’ll get going now. I’ll make sure your mom has protection before I confront her. I promise.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Lexa</span>
  <span>,” Carmen</span>
  <span> said. “And... I’m really sorry.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It isn’t your fault. But it would be great if you could put in another transfer and find another station to serve.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Carmen nodded. “Okay,” she said.</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>Clarke could not sleep that night. Alex laid in the bed next to her. The baby had been asleep for a few hours. After their argument in the driveway, Abby was concerned. There was nothing Clarke could share because there was nothing she knew. She felt guilty for what she said but she was mad at Lexa for </span>
  <span>leaving</span>
  <span> the way she had. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was obviously a lot of things she knew nothing about. Clarke considered herself to be a trusting person. She had never pushed Lexa on anything. She never asked questions about her past unless Lexa wanted to share willingly. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>But this was asking too much. Lexa had said nothing before leaving. She had not even told Clarke where she was going.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you,” Clarke whispered to the sleeping baby. “I love your mama, too, but sometimes she really gets on my nerves.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Alex huffed in her sleep. Somehow, it made Clarke feel better.</span>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <span>True to her word, Lexa went to the police station. She found the only cop she felt she come somewhat trust right now. Office Blake was, thankfully, working late. She stepped into his office and closed the door.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Woods, I’ve been trying to call you,” Bellamy said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I haven’t checked it in a while,” Lexa said. She took it from her back pocket and saw, at least, five missed calls. None were from Clarke. “What did you want?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Finn has a solid alibi,” he said. “Clarke came to me the other day. Then, this happens at your apartment. I guess I assumed...”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you do me a favor? Can you spare a patrolman to guard someone’s home?” she asked. “Even if they rode by every hour or so. There was a threat made and I want to make sure nothing happens to her. </span>
  <span>Obviously,</span>
  <span> I would not want Finn to do it. Just in case.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can do that if you give me an address.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa handed him the sheet of paper Carmen wrote her mother’s address on before she left. He took the paper and reached for his phone on the desk. He typed out a message.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Done,” Bellamy said. “How is Finn involved anyway? I mean, he probably won’t get in trouble but I'm curious. I won’t say anything.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa almost told him the truth about his conversation with Carmen and what he told her to do. But she was unsure of what the officer would do with the information. She could not risk him telling Finn. Things would surely escalate if he thought she was onto him. Lexa just wanted him to leave her and Clarke alone.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks for your help, Blake,” she said. Lexa started for the door. She turned back and found him still watching her. “Really. Thank you.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No problem,” he said.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa debated driving straight to the apartment where Tsing had once lived. She figured the woman still lived there or someone could direct her to the new place. But then she remembered her argument with Clarke. It was almost ten. She would wait until the morning.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Right now, she needed to be with her family.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The door was locked when she arrived. She was not sure whether to knock or not since it was so late. Thankfully, she did not have to decide. Kane pulled open the door.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“They’re upstairs,” he said. “Lexa, can I ask you something?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure,” she said, nodding once. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are they safe? I mean, I thought everything on the news was bullshit. But then the break-in happened and... Abby’s really worried about it.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lexa wanted to promise him that everything was okay. She knew that Tsing would never harm Clarke or Alex. She was evil but they had nothing to do with the present situation. Tsing was trying to correct a past problem. She was trying to fix the mistakes she made when she and </span>
  <span>Costia</span>
  <span> were kids.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m going to make sure that nothing else happens,” Lexa said. “I really love Clarke. I hope Abby knows that.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She does. You make Clarke happy. You've given her the grandbaby she desperately wanted. Clarke had decided that kids were not in the cards for her before meeting you. Did you know that?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t. I had thought the same thing before Alex came along. It's weird how life works out sometimes. I promise you that nothing will happen to them.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kane nodded and motioned toward the stairs. He grabbed his beer from the table beside the couch before sitting down once more to watch a basketball game.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke was sitting on the side of the bed when she pushed open the door. Alex was asleep in the bassinet next to the bed.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Lexa said. “I thought you might be asleep.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How could I sleep when you’re out there doing... whatever it is that you were doing?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want to tell you everything, Clarke. I do. But I don’t want to do that tonight. Can I have just one more day?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Clarke stood and wrapped her arms around Lexa’s waist. She sighed and rested her head against her chest. She nodded. Lexa kissed the top of her head. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” they said in unison.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>She could feel Clarke smiling.</span>
  
</p>
  </div></div>
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